i have had it! the final straw for me!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
i have had it! the final straw for me!
4
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 11:30am

I posted this elsewhere but had no responses.

My relationship has been on a rollercoaster the entire time we have been together. I post on here all the time, but I FINALLY finally realized that my SO will never care enough about me or make me a priority...ever. That is huge to me. Last night was it for me, and it caused me to FINALLY resign from my job, but please know that I have been contemplating this FOR A LONG TIME, it was just last night that pushed me over... I am writing this because I am questioning how stupid I reacted, or how I might actually be RIGHT to be upset.
He has this one "girl friend" that he constantly lies about. She lives in a different state NOW, but when she visits here, he picks a fight with me so he can go see her...(he says this isn't true, but I know it is) I never fully trusted him with her, and he spent every waking moment with her when I lived elsewhere. She is ten years younger too. It was the way he hid his conversations with her (lied about them)and acted like a jerk towards me when he was around her. Last night he called to say he was coming home. He works 20 minutes away. One hour later he still wasn't home. I called him and no answer. Oh yeah...HE NEVER ANSWERS THE PHONE WHEN I CALL AND HE IS ON THE PHONE..even to say he's ok but busy etc. I waited a bit and tried again..but no answer. Ok. I waited...and waited. When he came home, he was STILL on the phone (I knew he would be), so I said hey...im glad you are all right, but would you mind telling me who you are talking to that made it impossible to at least answer and say "im on the phone?" He looked at me, said NO, walked right past me, and went to his backyard and shut the door. No hello, no im sorry im still on the phone but i will be right back,no it's good to see you!! nothing. Soooo I leave for a while and come back..he's still on the phone. It's one a.m. I finally go to sleep on his couch and when he comes in he is being all gooey over me and being sweet..but to be honest with you, I am over it. He texted me to my cell later (we live together lol) and said the girl i don't like called him and that was who he was talking to. I know he can talk to who he wants, but it's the way he treated ME. I feel that he didn't consider my feelings, and he didn't do anything to make me feel better about it except not answer his phone, walk right by me and not say hello, and talk to her for hours when I haven't seen him in a few days ( uh he always works super later lol). He said I overreacted, but to be honest...I don't believe it. I only ask him for respect, and I don't feel I got it...or ever get it. I have a feeling a few people will say I am out of line, but it's the way he treats his own gf over everyone else in his life. He NEVER puts me first, to be that's really important. :( PS..He KNEW how much this would have upset me because we have discussed her many times. Slamming the door on me and ignoring me only sparked a fire in me. I am still angry and I hated sleeping on the couch.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 12:52pm

I don't blame you for being upset with him. I would have been too. His behavior toward you was very disrespectful. I am confused though. What does this have to do with resigning from your job? Do you work together?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 1:05pm
No, I live with him away from my friends and family. I never wanted to be where i am...I only came here for him. I quit my job because I don't feel the need to be here anymore and deal with his games and disrespect. I have been just hanging on to this relationship by a hair....and this just finally got me mad enough to finally leave. This is nothing compared to what he HAS done in the past, but I guess it just took one phone call to end it for me lol. How odd.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 1:12pm
Okay, now I see. I am glad you finally made the move. It sounds like you will be a lot happier moving back to where you family and friends are.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 1:28pm

Hi unhappilyeverafter,


Everyone has their limit and he just helped you get there a lot sooner.