I have just about HAD IT

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
I have just about HAD IT
14
Tue, 12-25-2007 - 12:14am

I posted not long ago on another forum about my BF calling me "pudgy," to which he says he was "just teasing."

Last night was pretty much the last straw. We were at the mall and the mall is sort of run down. I said it reminds me of this mall I had gone to two summers ago. The conversation continued as such:

ME: This place reminds me of this mall me and my sister went to in Indianapolis...

HIM: My sister and I.

ME: What?

HIM: It's "My sister and I." You have to start sounding educated, especially when you're going on job interviews. Seriously, they look at things like that..."

And that that point the conversation ended with me walking away from him. And I did something I never do - I threw a fit in public. I told him (loudly) that I was sick of his nitpicky BS, I was sick of him giving me "tips" and "pointers," and that it was incredibly offensive. He, of course, said "Well, I'm sorry." And I said, "No you're not. You've done this before, you've said you're sorry, and you just keep right on doing it."

And at this point I haven't spoken to him since last night. People of the board - seriously - is this a forgiveable offense? I'm at my wits end. He doesn't do this every day, but it's enough. It's either correcting my grammar, poking at my stomach (and I am NOT fat by any stretch of the imagination), or whining about me not wearing clothes that he considers "sexy."

I'm tired of it. I don't know if this relationship is worth saving.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 12:12am
He treated you like a child, and you reacted like one. You're both guilty of bad communication skills. You need to learn to accept criticism, and he needs to learn how to criticize more constructively. Sit down and read a book together on communication or take a couple of classes. I don't think either of you really "deserve better" but you definitely could use some better methods of getting your point across to one another.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 11:35am

I admit that my outburst in the mall wasn't the best of all solutions.


However, seeing that my previous efforts of talking rationally, requesting, telling him how I feel after he makes unsolicited comments (about grammar in a friendly conversation??! - come on!!), etc., went in one ear and right out the other, I

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 6:04pm

>>Next time maybe he'll think twice about pointing out my "flaws" and "trying to help." <<


Or perhaps

Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 12-26-2007 - 8:51pm

One of the most important parts of any healthy relationship is feeling loved, valued and respected. Clearly, you do not feel that here. You feel torn down and criticized. If you stay in a situation like this, it is easy to lose your self esteem. So, if you are uncomfortable with this person, call it day, and go forward to find someone who loves and values you just as you are.


Best wishes,

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