I have lied about my age
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I have lied about my age
| Sat, 12-29-2007 - 9:10pm |
I've been seeing my girlfriend for 10 months. She is wonderful, selfless and has helped me to pull my life back together in so many ways. I met her at a concert. When I was there she asked me my aged and I lied. I said I was 18, I was by myself and as she was 21 and talked to me I didn't want to be left on my own just cos she thought I was a kid. I was 16 at the time. I'm going to be 18 next week. She think's I'll be 20.
I have never told her the truth basically as once I realised we were more than friends I had also found out she had serious trust issues and I'm scared of hurting her. I wasn't sure how serious things were going to get and before I knew it I was in way over my head.
I need to tell her the truth this much is obvious. I'm selfish not to tell her just because I
I have never told her the truth basically as once I realised we were more than friends I had also found out she had serious trust issues and I'm scared of hurting her. I wasn't sure how serious things were going to get and before I knew it I was in way over my head.
I need to tell her the truth this much is obvious. I'm selfish not to tell her just because I

Please don't make the assumption that if you lied, she will never trust anyone again.
You don't have the right to make decisions for her well-being, that's her responsibility. A man lying about 2 years in age is not exactly an earth-shattering "oh my god I'll never trust again" event for ... well most women.
So don't jump to conclusions. If you want to leave her, do it because you don't want to be with her anymore OR you don't want to be honest with her. But don't do it because of an assumption you made about her reaction to something you haven't even told her. That is a coward's way around having to tell the truth.
If you like this girl then come clean, apologize profusely, tell her you weren't thinking at the time you said it and throw yourself at her mercy. She will probably be angry at you, but if she wants to be with you regardless than she will.
It's a manly thing to do to own up to your mistakes and not skirt your way around honesty.
Just abandoning her is not going to be gentler than telling her the truth. Besides, since you've been living with her because you have nowhere to go, you won't anywhere to go after you tell her, either.
There's obviously a lot more going on here than you're telling us--for example, the issues that caused you to leave your parents' home, the question of what she thinks you're doing while you're attending high school, and the problems of who's paying for everything at her place. I think we need more info in order to give you a well-tuned response, but one thing I can tell you for sure: No one ever solved a problem by running away from it.
I think you are getting carried away. You haven't done anything so terribly wrong. It's not such a big deal. You certainly haven't hurt her. You liked her and didn't want to miss out on the chance of a relationship. People shave a few years off their age, or add them on, all the time. If it's a big deal in your mind, that's what you'll communicate. If it's not, it you look at the total relationship, and how good it sounds, (for both of you), you'll realize that not only did she do you a favor, but you did her one as well. It's always a blessing to find someone you are happy with. If you leave that would cause a lot more pain and lack of trust issues than if you stayed and either kept this to yourself for now - or became more comfortable with it, and told her later on, in a casual way - not expecting a disaster, but with a smile. If you completely accept it, she will as well.
Remember, she is as lucky to have you as you are to have her, no matter what your age is. Ultimately, age is just a number.
Best wishes,
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