I have no idea what's going on! need advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2001
I have no idea what's going on! need advice!
12
Thu, 11-29-2012 - 9:29pm

Hi Everyone, Okay, I am going to try to make this as short and sweet as i can. About 4 years ago, a guy that i was interested in and i hooked up. We both were not serious because we had just gotten out of longer relatioships. Time passed, things faded as it was just physcial and we didn't really talk anymore. Both moved on. Then a few weeks ago, I received a FB message from him. He is single, I am single...oddly enough so we started hanging out again. Lot different it seems this time, not just physical, we talk forever, we go out to dinner, he stays over...yes it's very very early. I guess my big issue with the whole thing is the following: We have a past that was just physical. We still have that physical connection which is great, but is he just hanging around until something better comes along? And 3, he has A LOT of female friends. Women everywhere want this guy. His facebook is loaded with good looking women. I hate to judge things by facebook, but it is a means of communication. So I guess my big question is...does it seem like this guy could really be into me? He has been burned by an ex or 2, we all have. We talk about absolutely everything, we have a great time together. Feels like we are dating...but not really sure, and it may be too soon to ask him that question. What do you guys think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2001

Okay these are all good thoughts. I do like this guy and it's early and yes I should be able to ask what the deal is! But on the flip side, i do like the idea of NOT being readily available. I am wondering if just being there is delaying any movement forward. I guess i should date and see what else is out there with the thought that if i actually HAVE to bring this up to this guy, is this what I really want?

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Wed, 12-12-2012 - 2:51pm

It is not definitely up to you, or definitely up to him to bring anything up in the relationship. If a person has an issue with the relationship then they should bring it up, whatever it is. If no one is bringing up anything then it follows that they must be happy with the status quo. He must be happy as-is because he has not raised any issues about exclusivity and he probalby assumes you are happy too since you haven't raised an issue.

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