I have no idea what's going on! need advice!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2001
I have no idea what's going on! need advice!
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Thu, 11-29-2012 - 9:29pm

Hi Everyone, Okay, I am going to try to make this as short and sweet as i can. About 4 years ago, a guy that i was interested in and i hooked up. We both were not serious because we had just gotten out of longer relatioships. Time passed, things faded as it was just physcial and we didn't really talk anymore. Both moved on. Then a few weeks ago, I received a FB message from him. He is single, I am single...oddly enough so we started hanging out again. Lot different it seems this time, not just physical, we talk forever, we go out to dinner, he stays over...yes it's very very early. I guess my big issue with the whole thing is the following: We have a past that was just physical. We still have that physical connection which is great, but is he just hanging around until something better comes along? And 3, he has A LOT of female friends. Women everywhere want this guy. His facebook is loaded with good looking women. I hate to judge things by facebook, but it is a means of communication. So I guess my big question is...does it seem like this guy could really be into me? He has been burned by an ex or 2, we all have. We talk about absolutely everything, we have a great time together. Feels like we are dating...but not really sure, and it may be too soon to ask him that question. What do you guys think?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-25-2001

I am not getting the impression he wants them. I know he has a variety of female friends from childhood and I have a lot of male ones...same situation. I guess, this being more untraditional in the start of the situation, I am gathering info on whether or not this guy is worth my time, and does he seem like it's me he is interested in solely

Avatar for Kendahke1
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2012

mariaparatore wrote:
<p><span style="font-size:13px">Hi Everyone, Okay, I am going to try to make this as short and sweet as i can. About 4 years ago, a guy that i was interested in and i hooked up. We both were not serious because we had just gotten out of longer relatioships. Time passed, things faded as it was just physcial and we didn't really talk anymore. Both moved on. Then a few weeks ago, I received a FB message from him. He is single, I am single...oddly enough so we started hanging out again. Lot different it seems this time, not just physical, we talk forever, we go out to dinner, he stays over...yes it's very very early. I guess my big issue with the whole thing is the following: We have a past that was just physical. We still have that physical connection which is great, but is he just hanging around until something better comes along? And 3, he has A LOT of female friends. Women everywhere want this guy. His facebook is loaded with good looking women. I hate to judge things by facebook, but it is a means of communication. So I guess my big question is...does it seem like this guy could really be into me? He has been burned by an ex or 2, we all have. We talk about absolutely everything, we have a great time together. Feels like we are dating...but not really sure, and it may be too soon to ask him that question. What do you guys think?</span></p>

whenever you do not know what's going on, ASK.

By the time you've gotten intimate with someone, I don't think any talk about "what is this?" is out of the quesiton.

It appears you need for him to spell out for you what he is doing, what's up with all the women and if you're just one in a long line.  Those women may all want him, but the true question is: does he want them?  Does he need attention from various women?  Can you tolerate him needing attention from various women?

can you accept him just as he is?  If not, then make your case.

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