I hope a spider didn't ruin our r'ship!!
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I hope a spider didn't ruin our r'ship!!
| Tue, 06-19-2007 - 5:41pm |
Hey all...I've been on here posting several times before about my relationship with a man I've been dating for about 2 1/2 months now. Well, things are moving along okay....same as they were....
However, I have a slight problem. To some, it may seem ridiculous, but this has really been bothering me for the last couple hours!! What happened was, he called me on his lunch break from work...we talked for about 15 minutes about how things have been going, our days, etc., and then (I was at home) I saw a huge spider in my child's room. I freaked out and screamed a little, and kept saying how freaky it was...big and black. When I saw the spider, he was asking me a question about a job I am applying for...and I kind of lost focus, so I asked him to repeat the question, as I was very flustered (My child put her hand right by the place the spider was)...well, he repeated the question and then I answered him and then I brought up the spider again (as I was still a little shaken, I HATE spiders) and said "Ahhh, I wonder who I can get to kill this spider!?" and then he VERY abruptly said, "I have to get back to work now." and I was kind of taken aback by his abruptness, so I said "okay" kind of awkwardly, and then he goes "bye" and I said "bye" and we hung up.
Now I have been thinking about this convo ever since, and hope that I didn't completely turn him off to me by my freaking out so much about the spider. I hope that he will still want to date me! We didn't even plan a date, didn't have a chance to, before he got off the phone. Now I wish that I hadn't freaked out so much about that spider!
Is there anything I can do to rectify this situation? Call/text him and explain or apoligize for behaving so irrationally? I'm sure he was probably irritated, so that's why he got off the phone...because it was so abrupt. But I'm kind of hoping in the back of my mind that he really did just have to get off the phone RIGHT then. But I doubt it. Any advice at all is appreciated! I'm sorry if this matter seems ridiculous, but I really like this guy and don't want to ruin anything we have because of a spider freak out! Thank you in advance!!
However, I have a slight problem. To some, it may seem ridiculous, but this has really been bothering me for the last couple hours!! What happened was, he called me on his lunch break from work...we talked for about 15 minutes about how things have been going, our days, etc., and then (I was at home) I saw a huge spider in my child's room. I freaked out and screamed a little, and kept saying how freaky it was...big and black. When I saw the spider, he was asking me a question about a job I am applying for...and I kind of lost focus, so I asked him to repeat the question, as I was very flustered (My child put her hand right by the place the spider was)...well, he repeated the question and then I answered him and then I brought up the spider again (as I was still a little shaken, I HATE spiders) and said "Ahhh, I wonder who I can get to kill this spider!?" and then he VERY abruptly said, "I have to get back to work now." and I was kind of taken aback by his abruptness, so I said "okay" kind of awkwardly, and then he goes "bye" and I said "bye" and we hung up.
Now I have been thinking about this convo ever since, and hope that I didn't completely turn him off to me by my freaking out so much about the spider. I hope that he will still want to date me! We didn't even plan a date, didn't have a chance to, before he got off the phone. Now I wish that I hadn't freaked out so much about that spider!
Is there anything I can do to rectify this situation? Call/text him and explain or apoligize for behaving so irrationally? I'm sure he was probably irritated, so that's why he got off the phone...because it was so abrupt. But I'm kind of hoping in the back of my mind that he really did just have to get off the phone RIGHT then. But I doubt it. Any advice at all is appreciated! I'm sorry if this matter seems ridiculous, but I really like this guy and don't want to ruin anything we have because of a spider freak out! Thank you in advance!!

Sorry, but yes, this does seem ridiculous.
totally agree with the previous poster.
You're completely overanalysing the situation. If his reaction to a spider phobia breaks you up, then it wasn't meant to be. Do you really want to be with a man who dumps you because you're scared of spiders?
But honestly, when I'm speaking to my husband at work, he sometimes has to go abruptly because someone is at his desk needing him. Or because another phone rings. Or because he's just remembered a meeting he needs to attend. Or because the boys are heading out the door to the pub right this minute.
It's not always about you.
Let it go.
i see the advise you've gotten on various boards is all very similar...and i agree with whats been said.
so i thought i'd add a bit of a twist...perhaps this guy WAS turned off to his getting the feeling you were over-exagerating to appear somewhat "damsel in distress"...maybe hes getting the impression you are putting up a front to intice him, he might consider your mind is always reeling with how best to impress him (being as you do seem to be concerned with coming across attracting to him)...we're all familiar with females who hope to get male attention by playing up the "little lady", you know, the girls who would screech at the sight of a spider hoping the boys would rush to "save the day", assuming males find it cute for girls to be scardy cats...so i'm thinking maybe this guy got that kinda drift from your reaction to the spider, maybe he didn't trust that you weren't exagerating for the effect.
and too you mention that he had just asked you about a recent job interview you had...do you think he might be concerned that you're unemployed or not serious about establishing a good career?....IF hes thinking of you as a life partner he may be paying attention to how serious you are towards making a good living...maybe he has some concerns that as a single-mom you might be hoping for a man to help support you...i think you've mentioned in past posts that hes got a promising future with his career...so maybe he worries you're hoping to hang on his coattails and not pull your own weight?..and maybe he thought you were changing the job search subject with an overreaction about the spider?
i'm just specualting here to offer you something a bit different then the replies you've so far gotten...probably i'm guilty of over-analyzing as many have advised you against doing LOL
good luck, relax!
honey
>>maybe his boss just walked in so he said bye<<
Reminds me of what happened to me once. I was taking too long on a personal conversation in the offce. My boss walked over to me and told me in no uncertain terms to cut short my conversation.
My friend was mid-sentence and I interrupted and said "I have to go now" She said "OK" and we hung up. Thankfully, she understood that my work should come first.