I just dont know anymore.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2011
I just dont know anymore.
8
Tue, 06-07-2011 - 6:29pm
I really don't know where to begin....I'm 28 yrs old I've been with the same man for the past 13 yrs and we have a beautiful 10 yr old daughter. My hubby is a good man,super smart and I can tell him anything. My problem is that he is just a tad bit over occupied with his work and work he does on his off time. He never seems to have time for us. All I do is stay home and clean, that's what I do. It gets old and lonely. I get depressed alot now and I just want to run away from myself. I'm fixing to jump around so try and keep up if possible lol. We live next door to my sisters home and next door to her lives our parents. We are a very close family and we were used to the quite country life. Well 8 mths ago that peaceful life was crumpled and spat out in front of us on the morning of Sept 22nd 2010 that's the day we were told that my sisters husband,my brother n law of 13 yrs was killed by a drunk driver while my bro n law was on his way to work out of state. That's was the worst ordeal my family has ever been thru. Now my family does nothing but argue. I will not get into that any further because its will just get longer and more difficult to follow. But I've been playing the part of peace keeper and the one everyone calls to bitch about what the other is doing. Its driving me crazy. This doesn't help my love life one bit but when I try to explain to my husband my problems and what is getting me down he doesn't understand. My sex drive has declined alot due to stress and depression episodes I get. So that's causing my hubby to get frustrated with me. I just don't know what to do where to start. We all are feeling the stress and tension from us all trying to cope with losing a very important and very much loved family member. We still haven't went to court over that, we are patiently waiting. To top that off my Hubby works for a paint n body shop and right now work is super slow and that is causing money problems also. I just want to get away from the rest of the family for a few days just to let my head rest, I said something to my Hubby about needing to get away on vacation or something and he said right now we can't afford it.......ohhhhhhhhhhh so I'm stuck out here to continue dealing with it all? All I want is to go camping or go to the beach for the weekend so my spirit can heal a bit. So that's another problem with hubby n myself. This probably made no sense to anyone that read it but I just needed to put it down to relieve a little pressure from my brain. I guess to make a little extra room to fit in whatever drama is coming next. Lol
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Tue, 06-07-2011 - 11:04pm

So sorry about your brother--from what I've read, some tragedies will tear a family apart and some will make them closer--I'm sorry it's the first.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2011
Wed, 06-08-2011 - 8:46pm
Thanks musiclover great suggestions on family issues. As far as me going to work, that would be fine with me I wouldn't have a problem with that at all. But my Husband does not want me to work at all. Anytime I bring that up it just escalates to a an argument. He says it would cause more problems than help....so that's out of the question, I just don't see the point adding another problem to that situation ya know?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2010
Fri, 06-10-2011 - 12:40am

This is what I suggest.....since you have been playing the role of peace maker, maybe it's time to do something a little more constructive than merely listening to everyone bitch.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Sun, 06-12-2011 - 8:52pm

It sounds to me like you need some time for you away from the house and family. You said your child was 10 and you did not mention that you have work to occupy your time. If not maybe you could find a job and help out with the bills to take some of the pressure off your husband. If you don't get out you will find yourself sinking deeper and deeper into depression. I think that right now you need to focus on you and take care of you, until you do that you aren't much use to others.

Best wishes

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2011
Sun, 06-12-2011 - 9:13pm

What's missing in this picture is.... what do you want? Why do you need your husband's permission to work outside the home?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2011
Sun, 06-12-2011 - 11:07pm

I don't really have an answer to your problems but I do have a bit of advice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2011
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 12:10am
I have told my husband that I would like to work and help out,but he doesn't want me to. He said it would cause more problems than help with existing ones. I don't understand what he meant lol. He's a man and alot of things that come out of a mans mouth don't make alotta sense anyways. But I just think its because he doesn't want me to become financially I dependant. No...That's exactly what it is. So that
is out. But still a great suggestion non the less.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2011
Wed, 06-15-2011 - 12:17am
But seriously thank you everyone for the advice, it really helps alot getting suggestions from strangers, I hold alot of feelings in so that I don't add stress to everyone else's stress filled bowl. So it helps to be able to rant to people who dont know me. That is when you get the best advice.