I love him...should I tell him?
Find a Conversation
| Fri, 06-25-2004 - 1:24pm |
When Alex and I first met, we had a more sexual than platonic relationship, even though we never had sex. As we got to know each other better, we realized that our bond was much deeper than sexual attraction and he started calling me his best friend.
As the year progressed, our bond became even stronger. We stayed up all night talking and laughing and drinking. He became something of a hero to me, since he was always there for me when I was too drunk or too depressed or too stressed. He rescued me from creepy guys at parties and stood up for me when they harassed me. One night, a guy slipped something in my drink. I ended up having a bad reaction to it, and Alex took me home and held me in his arms until I came down from it. It was inevitable that I would fall even harder.
This past winter, I made the mistake of confessing my love to him while I was totally and completely wasted. He gently told me that he didn't see our relationship in a romantic way anymore and I was heartbroken. I thought our friendship was ruined. Alex, however, as a true friend, told me that he was willing to ride off my feelings as a drunken mistake and forget about the whole thing. Since I didn't want to lose him, I agreed.
As spring came along, we became even better friends and spent even more time together. One night, we were in his room and he began to play my favorite song on the guitar. I was surprised because I had only told him once, long ago, that I loved that song. He said he had been learning to play it ever since. I was so touched that I kissed him quickly on the mouth. I didn't think he would respond to it, but he set his guitar down and wrapped me up in a passionate kiss that lasted for the rest of the night.
Since then, every time we get together we end up getting very passionate with each other. After a big fight last month, I confessed that I couldn't stand him being mad at me. We ended up having amazing sex, to the great delight of our friends (they found out when I accidentally left my phone in his room and he answered my calls). To quote the movie "When Harry Met Sally" things like "They did it!" and "Finally!" were being said all week. Unlike Harry and Sally, though, we held each other and kissed all night after we had sex. Things had progressed much more than I expected them to.
BUT...as for the big question...should I tell Alex that I love him(sober)? I'm afraid he'll have the same answer for me as the first time and I'll just be heartbroken again. What should I do? Is it worth the risk or should I just move on?

Good luck
opsicle
I also think that if he does NOT want a relationship, you need to cut off the sexual contact. You will only get hurt in the end.
On the upside, he may see things the way you do - that the 2 of you are meant to be.
Best of luck to you!
Good luck
Wait for him to say I love you first - that is too dramatic for you to say first for where you are now. Take each day as it comes and do not worry about the future - enjoy what you have now and let it unfold on its own.
As an aside, some time apart tends to help guys see how much you mean to them. Don't choke the relationship too soon. Give it room to breathe.