I love you, I love you not
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| Thu, 10-07-2004 - 8:32pm |
I'm looking for feedback. My boyfriend and I recently had a fight (we rarely fight). The fight was about my stressful career and i was sharing with him my frustrations. He turned it into something about him (he often does this) and started a feud. I felt like he wasnt on my team and he yelled that if that is the case then we should just end this relationship now.
I ended up leaving his house because i refused to go to bed mad. The fight turned into something terrible when we spoke two days later in person to resolve the issue. He talked about not feeling understood, said that he felt like a pet. I told him that I wished he would have just said that he loved me or tried to make me feel better instead of turning it around and saying he has problems of his own.
The fight was very close to resolution, when he admitted that the few times we had exchanged I Love U's, that he didn't mean it. I was in total shock. I almost started to cry. (Me and this guy recently got back together in June from an 8 month separation; we dated four months before that... everything has been great since getting back together). When he realized that he just said a nono, he quickly tried to console me and started saying things that I've never heard him say before. He said that since he feels misunderstood at times that is why he isn't in love with me and that he said it before for me, not because he meant it, but that he's in this relationship for the right reasons and that he thinks about marriage and having kids with me.
But all i could hear was, "i don't love you". I said that I need verbal confirmation about how you feel about me and now you have just taken the few things you've said to me away. I told him that I can't be with someone who doesn't love me. We have been through so much together and i thought we were on the right track.
What should i do? I'm so confused.

Honestly, it sounds like he has no clue what he wants, what he feels, so he tells you what he thinks you want to hear. The only one who will be hurt when this is all said and done is you.
I think you need to give him some space to try to figure things out because you deserve alot more than what he is able, or willing, to offer you right now.
Best wishes,