I made a HUGE mistake. I need help...

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-15-2008
I made a HUGE mistake. I need help...
3
Sat, 05-03-2008 - 8:37pm

My boyfriend (whom I've been with for over 3 years...and we live together) was diagnosed with cancer last year. Because of the disease and the treatments, our relationship was pretty much nothing but him being sick and me staying by his side, trying to stay positive and.

After 5 months of his ongoing treatment, I fell into a deep depression. I didn't feel myself at all. I felt like I was caged up and trapped in a situation I had no out with. I know this is no excuse, but I describing how my entire life was....I felt out of control.

Well, one night I went out with a few of our friends. Unfortunately, I made the horrible decision to dabble in drugs. I was wasted and ended up having a three some with one of his friends and a random girl. I wish every day that I could take that night back.

Well....anyway...his friend told ALL of our friends...and no one said anything to Steve because the main focus was for him to get well. He just finished up his last treatment and is now in remission...and his friends all got together to tell him what happened.

I am now on a business trip without him and this is all blowing up over the phone! When it first came out, I lied...and tried to deny EVERYTHING. But, I know he knows the truth. I won't see him until Monday night and I have no idea what to do. He won't take my calls now. I left him a message to make a list of ANY questions that he has and I'm going to come clean with any lies that had been told.

I am devastated. I love this man. It was a mistake to put myself in that position. I should have never done what I did. I regret it all. And now I am looking at losing the most important person in my life. Any suggestions on how to save my relationship????

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Sat, 05-03-2008 - 9:09pm

Sleeping with his friend while on drugs...no kidding you made a huge mistake.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sat, 05-03-2008 - 10:08pm

Welcome to the board tacoflavoredxxs,


My advice is to stop trying to contact him.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 05-03-2008 - 10:14pm
Come clean, apologize, do whatever you have to in one sitting IF he will take your call... But I agree that you should not continue to contact him if he is not listening. I know you feel badly about it in retrospect, but there are few things more horrible than what you did to him and no offense, but if he were writing here to tell us what you did to him everyone on this board would advise him to dump you ASAP. I don't think that you should have too much faith that this will last. For his own good, he really should not continue to be with you, I'm extremely sorry to say. You should start moving on and perhaps see a therapist to help you get through what must be a tough time. It sounds as though you could use some guidance.