I need advice about a cheating boyfriend

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2003
I need advice about a cheating boyfriend
24
Sat, 08-11-2007 - 12:39am
I know this sounds weird, but I found out that my boyfriend of 4 1/2 years cheated on me with at least 10 different girls on several occassions. His ex-friend called me to tell me. Well, I confronted him and he lied at first. I then told him not to call me unless he was willing to be honest. He then confessed to everything. I'm still with him. I know, why? I ask myself that everyday. I feel like I'm mad at every girl he cheated on me with. He says I should "get over it and quit obsessing about it". I'm so mad at myself for putting up with this crap. He says that he won't "leave me alone" and that we "really love each other and are happy when we are together". I'm mad, hurt and I feel I deserve better. What is the best way to get him out of my life for good?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2007
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 4:29pm
wow. i read the "love letter" from this guy again (a little more awake) and you guys are right. this guy is desperate and manipulative. His history is too long and too bad. I think you need to stop all communication with him and move on. He might feel bad about loosing you, but its about him, not about you and whats best for you. Change your phone number and try not to waste any more time worrying about him! You deserve to be with someone who respects you, who loves you! Make sure to tell friends and family if he starts following you around or otherwise making you uncomfortable. best luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2007
Fri, 08-17-2007 - 9:52pm
Hi, I'm new to ivillage, I like your response to this question and since my question is regarding a cheating husband, I decided to jump in here. My situation is this: I found a hotel electronic key on my husband's night stand mixed in with his pocket money and change that he dumped out of his pocket. When I asked him why he had it, he said he didn't know where it came from. However, for the past couple months he has been calling this one female's cell phone and I really feel something is going on, especially since there has been signs of infidelity thru out out marriage from time to time. He always has a good story to explain himself. We have been married for 30 years and he always had a job that required a lot of travel. Now he is semi-retired and his stories just doesn't ring true. My question is. Is it a good idea to call this number and speak to the woman??
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 11:07am

Speaking to her is not a great idea.

I think it's obvious that you caught your husband in an affair; deal with him and not her. "I don't know how it got there" is the lamest excuse I have ever heard.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-16-2007
Sat, 08-18-2007 - 6:19pm

Yes, you are probably right. Its up to me now to decide how I'm going to move on. He is my only source of income right now. The business I'm in is flat now. I'm currently looking for another line of work.

I've caught him in other questionable situations and always accepted his explanations. So after 35yrs of marriage to him and two daughters later. I've had enough of his lies. I have to admit that I'm so scared. I don't really know what to do first. I don't know how to tell our daughters. Should I tell them or let him tell them?

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