I need an advise from american women
Find a Conversation
I need an advise from american women
| Mon, 07-26-2004 - 6:42pm |
Hi everyone,
I am from China and have been dating an american man for about a year. We both live and work in San Francisco. I want to find out , girls, when you go on dates with your boyfriends who usually pays for movies, dinners and so on???
In my case , i pay about 70% and he pays 30% of the time. When we go to more expensive restaurants , i almost always pay. He most of the time takes me out for coffee at Starbucks. In my culture it is not normal and guy like that would be considered to be cheap. Is it a norm for an american men? It bothers me and i have been thinking about breaking up with him because of that.
P.S. We are both working and making a reasonable amount of money.
Thanks for your answers
I am from China and have been dating an american man for about a year. We both live and work in San Francisco. I want to find out , girls, when you go on dates with your boyfriends who usually pays for movies, dinners and so on???
In my case , i pay about 70% and he pays 30% of the time. When we go to more expensive restaurants , i almost always pay. He most of the time takes me out for coffee at Starbucks. In my culture it is not normal and guy like that would be considered to be cheap. Is it a norm for an american men? It bothers me and i have been thinking about breaking up with him because of that.
P.S. We are both working and making a reasonable amount of money.
Thanks for your answers

Sheri
LAters
No, he is not making 30% of my salary, he is actually making more money than me.
I feel uncomfortable to ask him directly " Why don't you pay?" . He pays sometimes.
Here are some situations that i had with him.
We went to the Disneyland a couple of month ago. In a parking lot i gave him some money to keep in his poket because i did not want to take my purse with me and i did not have any pokets to put the money. He bought tickets for both of us with my money, some souvenis for me and himself and kept $20 change.
When i had my birthday , he took me out for some tea and pastries ( i believe the total cost of that would be $20 max). On his birthday, which is a couple of weeks after mine , i have asked him where does he want to go. He said that he knows one nice restaurant . We went there and guess what? It was about $40 per plate. I ended up paying the whole bill because it was his birthday and i did not feel comfortable to ask him to pay some of it.
I am not a greedy person and $40 here and $20 there will not affect my budget but it is the fact that he is acting like that bothers me a great deal.
And one more detail that i find strange. When we go to a restaurants, he always takes all the leftovers especially if he pays. And not only leftovers from our plates but he would ask waiters to bring some extra chips and bread, and he would take all those little boxes with jellies or honey or butter. Or if he buys coffee from Starbucks we have to come back to that place no matter how far away we went so he can get a refill. Those little things irritate me. Is it something normal and i just do not understand the culture?
Thank you
Sheri
I should share to give everyone a laugh. At the time I was mad , but looking back
I just have to laugh.
I had a boyfriend many years ago who was as cheap as anyone could be. When my
birthday rolled around , he feined penniless. So , I got an ever-so-fantastic
FIFTY CENT CUPCAKE from a local grocery store that said Happy Birthday ! I was
disappointed , but said nothing. Then , out he pulls a TWENTY DOLLAR case of
beer FOR HIMSELF ONLY !!!!!!! I was pi$$ed to say the least. It get's better
though - I swear !! He got drunk , got the munchies , AND ATE MY CUPCAKE !!
Some men are just boobs. But you could give him the benefit of the doubt and
ask him about it. What have you got to lose ?
Heather