i need help
Find a Conversation
i need help
| Thu, 08-02-2007 - 2:02pm |
I HAVE BEEN IN A RELATIONSHIP GOING ON 2 YEARS NOW AND NOW MY BF SAYS AFTER US FIGHTING CONSTANTLY FOR THE PAST 3 MONTHS THAT HE CAN'T BE AROUND ME IF I DON'T SEEK COUNSELING. IT ALL STARTED WHEN A PERSON OUT OF THE BLUE CALLED ME AND TOLD ME MY BF HAD SLEPT WITH HIS WIFE. I WAS SO FURIOUSE WITHOUT LISTENING TO HIS SIDE OF THE STORY I KICKED HIM OUT. WELL HIS BOSS AND FRIENDS KEPT TELLING ME IT DIDN'T HAPPEN SO I LET HIM COME BACK AND HE CONSTANTLY KEPT THROWING IT UP IN MY FACE HOW COULD I BELEIVE TOTAL STRANGERS AND NOT HIM THEN 2 MONTHS LATER HE TEXTED ME TELLING ME HE WAS MAILING MY OUR APARTMENT KEY AND CHANGING HIS NUMBER THAT HE DIDN'T WANT TO SPEAK TO ME AGAIN AND THEN A FEW DAYS LATER HE EMAILED ME SAYING IT WAS A BIG MISTAKE. EVERYTHING SEEMS TO ALWAYS BE MY FAULT I LOVE HIM AND WANT OUR RELATIONSHIP TO WORK BUT I DON'T KNOW HOW IT COULD. CAN ANYONE PLEASE GIVE ME SOME ADVICE ON THIS SITUATION. ON OUR CURRENT SITUATION IS THE HE SAYS I AM A PHSYCO AND THAT I NEED HELP I THINK I AM JUST HURT BY ALL THE REJECTION. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO PLEASE HELP.

Pages
Welcome to the board crushedtw,
Why would you want to be in a relationship with someone that calls you a psycho and wants to blame you for everything?
If you really want to stay together, I would tell him that you will go to counseling but you want to go to couples counseling with him.
glitter-graphics.com
Please, please stop typing in all caps, I know your keyboard has a caps lock function that you can turn off! :)
You have had a tough life up until now, your ex-marriage seems to be a nightmare and I can understand why you are having trust issues.
If you really think that this boyfriend you're with now is the one, then yes, you should try counseling (by yourself, if he won't go with you) to try to work out your issues with trust.
A 24 year old is in a whole different world and lifetime than someone who is 33. Do you think that this one is going to work out? Does he? I think it's important to understand why you're dating someone much younger, not that it's wrong. What kind of future do you see with this person?
I think that if you are honest with yourself you will realize that you could use some help to try to deal constructively with your past feelings of negative self-worth and trust, rather than sabotaging your relationships. It is not helpful that your boyfriend locks you out of his MySpace, but on the other hand, there would be two ways for him to try to deal with your trust issues... 1) become like an open book to you and risk you getting angry at him for something that might be very trivial, or 2) shut you out of everything to prevent you from seeing anything. I think it's a defensive move on his behalf but doesn't signify that he's doing anything shady.
As a man, I completely understand his decision. No man wants to be attacked and falsely accused based on bogus stories. If you did this over an extended period of time - then he made the right choice as he had enough abuse already.
I do encourage you to work on yourself before you work on your relationships. Your ex is one man and not all men are going to do things just like your ex. It is unfair to hold a different man accountable for the actions of your ex. No relationship will withstand that kind of behavior.
I totally agree with spice.man...and I'm a woman.
I've gotta tell you, if my parnter believed someone else's story about me cheating and kicked me out without asking my side of the story, I'd break up with them. The word "psycho" would probably cross my lips too. If my partner wanted to try again, and I knew the baggage from their past, I'd also insist they undertake individual counselling....however, I would be extremely dubious about trying again.
In short, I would not return UNLESS the partner did individual counselling to address their trust issues AND conquered them.
Pages