i need help

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2007
i need help
10
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 2:05pm
i could not get to see my fiance much one week and she started feeling lonely.
so she went to a chat room got a guys number snd started texting him, thn she started havin text sex sending pictures of her etc. She came over on the friday to stay and was texting him when she was here. eventually she told me what she was doing. im sure my heart stopped. ever since then i cant stop wondering if she did it before or is going to do it again. i love her and dont know what to do we had been trying for a baby and she may be pregnant. what should i do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: mrf88
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 2:24pm

First, I think you need to stop trying to have a child if she isn't pregnant already. Her behavior is very extreme seeing as you couldn't see her much for one week. If she is like this before you even get married, how are things going to be down the road. I think you need to reconsider the relationship.


If you want to stay together, insist that she goes to marriage counseling with you.


If she is pregnant, and you break up, Get a paternity test, and get child custody and support court ordered.


*edited to correct grammer mistake




Edited 3/13/2007 3:49 pm ET by cl-ctara19811
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: mrf88
Tue, 03-13-2007 - 3:38pm

Hi mrl88 and welcome to the board.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2007
In reply to: mrf88
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 5:03pm
Thanks for your advice, i am thinking about my relationship with her an was going to talk to her about it as i do still really love her and as they love conquers all. im trying to build the courage to say and im not really sure how to do this.
could you giv me any more advice in the matter and what i should say. Thanks
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: mrf88
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 5:10pm

You could always write her a letter if you feel more comfortable that way. Just let her know how she made you feel, that you still love her, and that you want to go to pre-marital counseling with her in order to strengthen your relationship.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2007
In reply to: mrf88
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 5:12pm
Thanks very much.
The thing is she is my first girlfriend/love & Lover. I still really love her and dont want things to end. I know i need to speak to her and but i dont know how to go about it/ what to say/ and do it without hurting her. you see im no looker, im overweight( although trying to change that) dont have money or experience and dont want to lose her at all.
She is honestly the best thing that has happened to me as i have not been happier and quite a few people have noticed this. What should i do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2007
In reply to: mrf88
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 5:19pm

thank you cl-ctara19811.
I really mean it, thank you very much. you have helped me so much. have a great life and hope you tackle all that gets thrown your way. TTTTTTTTTHHHHHHAAAAAAANNNNNKKKKKSSSSS.

Miles

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
In reply to: mrf88
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 5:27pm

You are welcome, and please feel free to post on the board at anytime.


Also remember that you deserve to be loved and treated with respect.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2007
In reply to: mrf88
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 5:34pm
thank you for everything. hope things go well for you
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
In reply to: mrf88
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 6:14pm

Hi again,


If love conquered all, none of us would be here.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-13-2007
In reply to: mrf88
Thu, 03-15-2007 - 7:48pm
thank you for your adice and im going to take what all of you have suggested with deep heart when i confront her about it. thank you.
any more advice is still wanted from anyone.