I need help I am falling apart

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
I need help I am falling apart
16
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 12:42pm
My g/f and I lived across the street growing up together. It was not till her family moved away that we started dating. We dated for 3 years then got engaged. Last Friday she broke it off.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 12:53pm

Welcome to the board s174153,


Give her the time and space she asked for.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 12:58pm
Well right now I am taking steps to show exactly where I am with religion. I am trying to step up and be the man I know she needs in order to lead her down that path. I just put so much pressure on her that I think I pushed her over the fence. I was really trying to show her the compassion and attention she deserves and my willingness to fight for her. I think it did just the opposite though.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 1:20pm

If you're looking for spiritual answers... don't let your relationship run the show. These sort of things are very personal and if you can share them with a partner then it's wonderful, but you need to be at a certain spiritual place with yourself, not for her.

The best thing you can do now is to back off. I know it goes against every instinct you have, but reaching out to her right now is the thing that will most hurt your chances of having her again. You shouldn't have to prove your religious worth to her. If she really wants to be with you, she'll be with you regardless of your relationship with god. That's not part of your relationship with her, it's private, and for her to judge your worth as a boyfriend based on that is not right of her. Still... She's entitled to her feelings and it should be respected.

Regardless of your religion, there is a force of nature that makes things happen for a reason and dictates that situations will resolve themselves the way they are meant to. If she doesn't come back, then it wasn't meant to be. Perhaps she needs time to reflect on a life without you, and she will realize what you mean to her soon enough.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 1:31pm
The issue I believe at the root of everything is that she needs an
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 1:36pm

Welcome to the board s174143,


All you can do now is continue to give her to space she wants. When she is ready she will contact you. Did she break up with you for good or just say she needed some time?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 1:46pm
Well at first she said she wanted to start over at square one as friends. Then we talked Sunday morning and after she was not sure if we were going to start over as friends or go back to dating before the engagement, but she asked for a little time to think. But I started to freak out on Monday and started calling her and sending her e-mails. Then she became upset. This is why I think I blew it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 2:07pm

All you can do now is just wait and see what she does.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 2:13pm
It is too late. her brother just sent me an e-mail saying her decision was made up and yesterday had nothing to do with it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 2:38pm
Wow. I am sorry. I can't believe she had her brother break up with you.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2007
Tue, 11-06-2007 - 2:42pm

I sent her and e-mail back with the following


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