i need help to understand my boyfriend!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2007
i need help to understand my boyfriend!!
9
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 3:01pm
I don't understand him.. I need to know everything about him.. how can I get him to open up to me without making him mad... and why wont he be loving towards me.. please help me.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 4:02pm

Welcome to the board lilmissallthat87,


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 4:52pm
i dont know. i just want to know about his past. you know the important stuff that every woman needs to know about their man. and we have been together for 7 months and we are talking about marriage already. we love each other, but i just want him to open up about how he feels about me. you know??? i dont care about anything else, i just want to know what he needs!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 5:07pm

Welcome to the board lilmissallthat87,


For the a lot the people, the longer you are together then more you are willing to share about yourself. Maybe you just need to give it a little more time. Also don't push him. If you start making a big deal about it, chances are it will cause him to shut down even more.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 7:07pm

:: i just want to know about his past. you know the important stuff that every woman needs to know about their man.


::but i just want him to open up about how he feels about me.


::i just want to know what he needs!!!


Those are 3 different things.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Mon, 01-21-2008 - 9:26pm

It sounds as though one of two things is going on:

1) You're trying to force the relationship you want with the wrong guy
2) You're trying to force the relationship you want with a guy who, after seven months, just isn't ready to completely open up to you yet




Edited 1/21/2008 9:27 pm ET by eggbertshootsfire
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2007
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 8:33am
he isnt the wrong guy. and the 2nd one might be right.. he is the one who wanted to marry me and told me he loved me first.. so i dont know.. i guess we will se
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 01-22-2008 - 8:47am
This kind of stuff should happen naturally - the tactic that will get you the furthest with him is to just be yourself, don't put pressure on him and he will show you his character gradually when he is comfortable with sharing it. In time he will reveal whether or not he is right for you (if he hasn't really opened up to you yet, then truly you cannot know). Some people just take time to get to know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-08-2007
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 9:43am
o well then why would he say he wants to spend his life with me if he didnt know. well from my side, i have been cheated on and hurt by every guy i have been with so i think its just me, i dont know how to trust and believe. u know?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Wed, 01-23-2008 - 10:20am
It could be that he does want to spend his life with you, but he just isn't a very forthcoming person. I do understand wanting to trust him in spite of a painful romantic history, but has he done anything to break your trust? Maybe he has been hurt in the past too, and he wants to be cautious about who he gives his heart to.