Sounds like your husband basically neglected you sexually because he preferred his porn. You felt lonely and neglected and turned to another man. You have to decide whether you truly want to work this out with your H or not. That will mean totally giving up the other man and a complete committment to working on your marriage. Good Luck
you might want to put this on the affairs boards. They're set up to handle these issues.
It depends on wheather you want a lover and a husband or a new husband that you hope is a lover.