I need a ladies opinion please

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
I need a ladies opinion please
4
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 5:14am
To all you ladies out there, i really need your help on this one. Basically this is the situation i'm in so far...

about 2 weeks ago, my girlfriend went for a 1 month trip to America, we're both from australia. She was over there with her mum and her aunts. While over there she met this guy, and he acted like their tourist guide, basically for the month taking them to several destinations. Over the time he grew to like her and i think alot. While she was over there, she still called me about once every week just to tell me how she was doing. However 1 day i was checking her email for her and did the most stupid thing...i read her email, as it was from sent to her from the guy that likes her over there, cause apparently he didnt follow her from LA to Philladelphia. In the email it had a picture of him at his office desk and on his desk it had a photo of him and her sitting next to each other and in the email he wrote: "Can you see what is on my desk? its a photo of you and me, so everytime i miss you i can see you smiling at me" I was very angry at this point in time so i didn't really want to say anything, just in case i blew my temper. So i played it cool and please note that she'd told me about this guy while she was over there and that he was attracted to her, and i still played it cool, im just like oh yeah, cool...Now the very first night she came back she showed me this phone that he'd brought for her, the phone was about 200 US dollars, which is a fairly big present from a friend to another, and my girlfriend told me that she'd tried to give him the money back but he kept refusing and basically in the end she just gave in and accepted the phone. Whats really bugging me though is that now that she is back from the states he is still calling her and disappointingly i have still been checking her mail till this very day and he'd email her a few times. I've asked her whether she has told him about us and that she has no interest in him and shes told me that shes told him a couple of times, both over in the states and while shes been back over here. However last night i asked her: "If i told you to send the phone back to him, would you do it?" She asked me why? and i told her because it was a mistake to take that phone from him in the first place, but she totally disagreed and said that there was no problem so long as there was nothing in it. But to me, she doesnt seem to want to give up that phone. Is this a sign that she cherishes the things he does for her? and that there maybe something, or am i just worrying too much? Antoher thing is while over there her mum was putting on some pressure on her to get to know this guy, and she didnt tell me this until she'd gotten back, but i had to kind of figure it out myself. Can someone out there tell me what to do please? Is this girl playing around with me? We've been together for 7 months now and like we've had good times plus bad, and most of the bad times is because i feel that she at times doesnt show alot of affection towards me and puts other things before me. Am i just being over sensitive or does this go to show something? Shes the type of girl that doesnt like to express how she feels either and this sometimes worries me alot, but thats just her personality she says...The main thing i'm asking now is: Should this relationship continue or am i just being paranoid?

Please help me...

thanks

MOST CONFUSED GUY OUT THERE

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2003
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 9:17am
Well, they're on different continents so unless your gf moves to America, you have nothing to worry about. Does she want to become an American citizen? That might be her mom's agenda in pushing her to talk with the American man.

I would be upset too, but since this man is so far away nothing can come from this unless one of them moves to another country. How likely is that?

I hope everything works out for you!

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Thu, 07-29-2004 - 1:11pm

If you dont trust that nothing happened while she was in that statesa, then you need to move on without her. To be honest, if someone gave me a 200.00 phone for free, I woulnt want to rreturn it either.


If you made it clear that it the amount of phone/email contact they have bothers you and she still chooses to ignore your concerns, then you must take it for what its worht and make your decision about where the relationship is heading.


Good Luck.


 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-29-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 1:39am
thank you for your honest opinion, greatly appreciate it :-)
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-30-2004
Fri, 07-30-2004 - 3:36am
hello wizardlee. i'm sorry, but the signs are right there in your face. what more can you ask for? yea, yall got your thing going on but this girl seems to me like she misses dick too. it is like she want's the best of both worlds. no you are not paranoid. basically something happended for this man to continue to reach out for her. dump her or you will be sorry in the future. remember this will not go away. you will think about this for ever and about it when it comes to another man hanging around too much. FOLLOW YOUR HEART.