I need some advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
I need some advice
2
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 1:02pm
Me and my girlfriend have been together for about three and a half years now and lately all we do is fight. I know that we have a huge communication probleme witch is partly my fault because when ever I say something it never comes out right. So lately for about the past month she's been talking to another guy a couple of times a day every day. and since she has to drive to another town every day so I bought her a cell phone. I've checked her incomeing and out going calls and I seen that she's been calling him on her way to work at work during her brakes and a few times on her way home. When I asked her about it she got mad and stared saying that I don't trust her and that there just friends nothing more. She swore that she would never leave me for him but now she wnts to spend time apart and see other people, but she doesn't want me to move out but she does want me to stay with my parrents for a couple of days. Does this mean she's just trying to ease me out the door so she can bring some one else in to replace me even though her and her son both say the love me.

Another strange comment she made was she still want to spend the rest of our lives together just not right now.

What should I do?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-26-2004
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 2:19pm
I think the best thing you can do is sit down and talk to her. Have both of you put everything on the table and try and get her to open up. If she is seeing this guy on the side, she's not going to tell you if you get in her face about it. She's probably in a confused state in her life. Maybe she's overwhelmed with the way things are going and the committment to you and a life together. She probably thinks that she just needs a break and some space, but also doesn't want to loose you. Its not fair to you that she's doing this, but it's something women go through sometimes(we're afraid of committment also). There might be other reasons why she's drifted off, that's what i would find out. Give her some time to think, but also make her realize that you do love her but you feel a little betrayed and that you won't wait around forever for her. Even though you may want to. If she knows she can come back to you at anytime and things will pick up were they left off, it's going to be a while if at all and you shouldnt put yourself through that. What kind of things do you fight about, because that can also play a factor in it? She might feel unappreciated and taken for granted by you which is why a lot of women drift away to someone else. Good Luck!
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Thu, 06-03-2004 - 2:32pm
Thanx

I know that I have been takeing her for granted but for the longest time I kept telling her I cant read her mind and she needs to try to be completely open and blunt with me

I don't pick up on little signals. I lover her so much but I just can't help feeling like we arn't going to be together for much longer. I've tryed to talk to her but she just gets mad at me. Even when we try talking like friends nothing to do with our relationship it seems like she trys to pick fights with me. but then 2 min. later she's my best friend again. Her son is'nt helping me out any either he keeps telling me that he misses me and that me him and mommy are going to moe far far away.

I'm such a mess right now I don't even know my head from ass and it's affecting every thing I do my boss has even noyiced that my head just isn't at work where it should be.