I need some HELP!! I feel LOST!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-29-2004
I need some HELP!! I feel LOST!
4
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 1:17pm
I decided to delete my post, but i would like to thank everyone who has posted. Thank you for your time and concern

sincerely

xoxocasexoxo


Edited 3/11/2004 11:07 am ET ET by xoxocasexoxo

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 4:32pm
So you went from one bad family situation (yours) to another bad family situation (his). Hmm, your mother may have been on to something by not liking him all this time and you may have not heard her or rebelled against it just to prove her wrong.

Consider posting on the Recognizing and Dealing with Domestic Abuse support board....they can give you a ton of resources. http://messageboards.ivillage.com/iv-rldomesting

You are stuck because you don't see a way out and you don't believe you deserve better. You need to work on your self-esteem and get out of there. Find a roommate situation where the house work and bills is split 50-50. Get back in school and make use of the free counseling available on campus.

Reading material to consider:

Learning to Love Yourself: Finding Your Self-Worth, by Sharon Wegscheider Cruse

How to Raise Your Self-Esteem, Nathaniel Brandon

The Aladdin Factor, Jack Canfield & Mark Victor Hansen

Healing the Scars of Emotional Abuse -- Gregory L. Jantz

No Visible Wounds: Identifying Nonphysical Abuse of Women by Their Men by Mary Susan

Why Does He Do That? Inside the Minds of Angry and Controlling Men by Lundy Bancroft

The Verbal Abusive Relationships by Dr. Patricia Evans

My best to you.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 4:51pm
Gosh, Sweetie. That sounds like a terrible situation. In my honest opinion, I think you should take the ASVAB. There's your way out. You've studied it, you know it. It's the perfect way to leave this terrible place, and make something positive for yourself. It may feel difficult right now, but after all is said and done, you'll realize it was the best decision you ever made in your life. Your boyfriend is immature, emotionally abusive, lazy, and jealous. Those are not qualities anyone would want in a partner. Sometimes we just outgrow each other, and it sounds like it's time for the two of you to part. I hope you do what is best for yourself. Best of luck.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
Wed, 03-10-2004 - 6:09pm
I think you need to find a roommate (or two) and get out of that house! You sound so miserable! I agree with Pilates - you seem to have outgrown him. You seem to have goals in your life and he does not seem to have any. There is no reason for you to stay there and put up with his crap! It also bothers me that you work full time and he doesn't and he is fine with that. He also is the reason you lost your apartment and are not in school anymore. Don't let someone like him get in the way of your goals and dreams. It is obvious that he has zero motivation. At 20 years old, it is time to start doing something about your future.

I know that it is hard to think about leaving him because you have shared so much together and it hurts. Many of us have been there before. But many of us would also not be where we are today if we did not get rid of the person who was dragging us down in our lives.

Don't let his family make you feel like a piece of crap. Ignore them and hold your head high.

I know it seems hopeless at the moment but please try to find a way out. You don't need all these stresses in your life.

madflava518@yahoo.com

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-02-2003
Thu, 03-11-2004 - 10:50am

hi honey! I hope you will take some of the advice given to you here - i really hate to see someone just throw their life away cause of some lazy guy.


sweetie! he doesn't love you. people who love - don't treat their loved ones this way. and i doubt that you really love him, maybe more like