I need urget help!!!Not sure what to do!

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
I need urget help!!!Not sure what to do!
6
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 6:40pm

Hi,

I’ll try to be brief. I have been friends with this guy for almost a year, we were flirting non stop but we couldn’t get together because he was his wife (although they both agreed they wanted to get divorced)

This month their divorce is going t be finalized. I am French Canadian and I am in Canada at the moment, will be back to the US next month. We speak everyday. Yesterday he was complaining about his ex in-laws preventing him from seeing his son,etc and he was very drunk. I asked him not to go out (because he was drunk) and told him that the day before I had been really drunk as well and I went to work with a hangover, etc

Anyway, I’ll get to the point. Today I sent him a text asking if he was OK but he didn’t reply. 30 minutes later he signed into MSN messenger stayed for less than a minute then signed out. A common friend was online too and she sent me a message saying hi, she said that she could see him online!!!!!!! I went crazy!!!!!

I sent him an email composed of four question marks and four exclamation marks. He replied immediately saying ‘Hello my Nicole, Are you drunk again? I’m on my way home. Hope you are OK xxxxx’

I replied back saying
‘Bonsoir Monsieur, I’m not drunk really. I just found it a little strange that you signed in then signed out immediately. Never mind anyway. Take care and god bless Nicole’

I am a little drunk to be honest but did I over react by calling him ‘Monsieur’ and ending the email with ‘Good luck and god bless’ also I didn’t use xxxx as he did.

Should I email him in the morning and apologize or not. I just felt very hurt when I knew he blocked me. Shall Ijust wait for him to make the next move or do you think I owe him an apology’

Merci a tous!

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-22-2005
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 6:54pm
If you're asking if you owe him an apology for invading his privacy and sending him the immature question marks and exclamation points - probably. You do need to chill. I don't understand your hurt feelings. So what if he was online - the two of you are not a couple and if you continue with the needy, insecure behavior chances are you never will be. The whole scoping out and knowing to the minute how long he was on MSN messenger is creepy!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 7:04pm

Hi lafemmeniktia,


Wait 24 hours before you do anything.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 7:24pm

Why are people assuming that he blocked her?

Many people have MSN Messenger setup to automatically start and login with they startup their PC. Since he was online for less than a minute, he likely shutdown MSN Messenger once his PC was started because he had other obligations he had to attend to. He did send her an email when he had a chance.

These kinds of wild assumptions that create drama drive men nuts. We end up getting falsely accused and often catch the wrath of hurt feelings with absolutely no basis in fact. If this happens often, the best decision for the man is to get away from a woman like this. Honestly, most men don't want this kind of junk and drama in our lives. It's just not worth the effort.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-14-2007
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 7:33pm

Thanks for replying. I am just so confused (and drunk). Spiceman, the reason I think he blocked me is that a common friend told me he was online. She saw him online while I didn't. And no there is absolutely no reason he wouldn't want to talk to me. Everything was fine!!!

He replied again, by the way. Here's his reply: 'Hiya, I signed then got disconnected and didnt bother to reconnect. Hope everything is OK. Love Xxxxx'

He didn't 'bother' to reconnect? Is that a justification for replying to my email while he appeared offline to me. I don't know if I'm over reacting. My work is not going so well and I'm so tense. I have an important day at work tomorrow, may be that's why. Still, I feel hurt!!!




Edited 3/14/2007 7:47 pm ET by lafemmenikita22
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2007
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 7:43pm
I WOULD SAY YOU DONT OWE HINM AND APOLOGY , I THINK HE OWES YOU ONE . WHY WOULD HE BLOCK YOU , WAS IT SO YOU COULNT TALK TO HIM OR SO HE COULD TALK TO SOMEONE ELSE. LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING I CAUGHT MY EX WIFE HAVING AN AFFAIR AND WHEN THINGS START AS YOURS DID IF HE DID IT WITH YOU , HE WILL DO IT TO YOU. SO JUST BE CAREFUL.
DON
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Wed, 03-14-2007 - 8:41pm

You have a valid point spice.man, I assumed because her friend could see him online while she could not, that she was blocked.