I really need help
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I really need help
| Mon, 10-18-2004 - 11:37pm |
I have a huge problem. I really need some advice. Basically i've been dating my bf for about 1 year. I'm 27 and hes 22. The only way i can see him is to hang out at his house. Because he doesn't have a license(long story) and he can't stay at my house. Anyway he has this mom thats very controlling. At first we got along but as i got to know her i started to not really like her. I think shes mean, manipulative and a very unhappy women.
She thinks of her two sons as her world and cares about little else. She makes them feel guilty that shes so lonley and gets mad when they don't hang out with her. Anyway i guess i wanted to just spend time with him so i would go to her house and we would just hang out in his room. She became unhappy with that among other things. About a month ago she got drunk and unloaded on me. She said alot of mean things to me and i felt like i disliked her even more. Basically she said if i don't "kiss her ass" she can find a way to get rid of me. So i didn't kiss her ass i was polite but not THAT polite. Now shes trying to get my bf to break up with me. He obviously won't. We both really love each other but it just sucks that his mom is that way she is and he can't afford to move out right now. I don't know what to do at this point and i really need some advice.
She thinks of her two sons as her world and cares about little else. She makes them feel guilty that shes so lonley and gets mad when they don't hang out with her. Anyway i guess i wanted to just spend time with him so i would go to her house and we would just hang out in his room. She became unhappy with that among other things. About a month ago she got drunk and unloaded on me. She said alot of mean things to me and i felt like i disliked her even more. Basically she said if i don't "kiss her ass" she can find a way to get rid of me. So i didn't kiss her ass i was polite but not THAT polite. Now shes trying to get my bf to break up with me. He obviously won't. We both really love each other but it just sucks that his mom is that way she is and he can't afford to move out right now. I don't know what to do at this point and i really need some advice.

I'm only trying to offer my help, but I am unaware of the situation as a whole. I do hope things work out for the best between you two. Lady_girl
This is a difficult and unfortunate situation. It's good that he won't break up with you because of her, but she does sound like a handfull, and potential trouble ahead. You were absolutely right not to "kiss her ass". It's awful that she said that to you, and I hope you let your boyfriend know what's going on and what both of you are up against. The basic issue here is that he really needs to work out his relationship with his mother. It sounds as though he has strength in standing up to her, but he does live there, and she is his mother, so it is inevitable that he will be quite affected by this in one way or another.
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