I said I love you... Guys please help on this one...
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|Tue, 09-03-2013 - 8:06pm|
Sorry I know this is a little long but just want to give the whole picture…
We have been in an official relationship for 6 months. It has been absolutely wonderful. I've never met anyone like him. An honest to goodness gentleman, didn't think they existed any longer. He won't let me open a door, hold a bag, make a cup of coffee. He makes me breakfast before he leaves for work in the morning when I stay at his place, always holds my hand, and never lets me go when we sleep together at night. I have never felt so loved. I have known how I felt for a couple of months but I held back. I wanted him to say it first because I didn't want to put pressure on him. But this weekend he took me on a weekend trip for my birthday. And I was just feeling it so much that I told him. "I have to tell you something, you don't have to say it back but I want you to know I love you."
Reaction, in a nice calm voice: So soon?, I say it's not that soon. Since when? I say it’s been a while. Then he started rubbing the top of his head and making this aaahhh sound like when you're driving and realize you've been driving for miles in the wrong direction and now you have to turn around. Then he hugs me and says, that is such a strong word. I care about you so much but that is such a strong word I want to be sure I mean it when I say it. I said, I told you, you didn't need to say it back. I just wanted you to know how I feel. Then I asked him if I had just ruined the weekend. I didn't mean to pressure him or overwhelm him. He said no, but I have just felt terrible ever since. He has treated me the same, no difference since that night but it’s only been two days.
I feel terrible because I don't understand his hesitation and his reaction. In particular with the sound he made and the scratching of his head; like, holy s*** aaaahhh I f****d up!! I mentioned earlier how he treats me. I am so confused. He brings me to his family functions. He even invited me to his grandmother’s memorial service where it was family only. This was just a few weeks ago. Why would you bring me to something like that if you don't feel that way about me? If you're still not sure about me at this point will you ever feel that way? My gut says no. What more is there to know? What else is there to see or experience with me for you to know? We spend every other day together unless one of us has a reason we can't. And I have not pushed this on him. I have often said; if you think you need a little space just let me know it’s ok. He always says no. He asked me to be his girlfriend after the 3rd date. We have discussed wanting marriage and children.
I don't understand how you could be so loving and affectionate all the time and not feel this way. It's a huge disconnect for me. We are both 37. According to him he has not had a real relationship since HS. I am divorced. I have thought, well maybe he is scared to say it. But if I said it first and you feel it, what would there be to scared of? Maybe he is scared of commitment but then why ask for a committed relationship so early? Why have such a close relationship the way we do?
I don't want to end up in one of those relationships where you go out for 7 years and you never move to the next step. I feel like if you know there is no real future than don't string me along, just let me go. Am I overreacting?