I started to cry :middle of the street

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-24-2007
I started to cry :middle of the street
4
Sat, 05-03-2008 - 9:15am
everyone,
I have been dating a guy for 6 months. This thursday was our 6 months anniversary. It was also my last week of school. I have had just 2-3 hours of sleep. I am also graduating this septmenber, so I have been stressed out about my job and feeling low lately. My boyfriend and I went out for a quick dinner to celebrate our anniversary. For the last two weeks I have been feeling very emotional and everything he does, I have been picking on him. Like last week I accused him of being secretive and we sorted that out. However, on Thursday I felt like he was being distant from me and didnt want to actually go for dinner. Then he told me that he wanted to see me on Saturday instead of Friday because Friday was going to be hectic so I got very emotional and said maybe we shouldn't see each other at all and maybe he wants space from me. He said no he didn't and whether I was the one who needed space. I said maybe he was greaking himself out by taking this relationship too fast. He said he didnt feel anything like that. After that I started to cry in the middle of the street. I confessed to him that I have been stressed and low and this is all a culmination of this stress. He was very sweet and said he is there for me and that I can depende on him. Later I went back home and called him up twice. Latr I text him saying I cannot rely on him if all he says is he wants to spend time with me and he misses me but he does not put that into action.( which is true!) He said that was not the case and that he wanted me to come and spend time with him on Friday. On FRiday I woke up feeling a lot better. He called me up to find out how I was doing and suggested that I come over. I said no, I felt a lot better and that I would want to meet him for a movie on Saturday. He seemed fine with it. But he said he understood that I was in a transitory phase and if I wanted to come and hang out at his place that was fine too.
Now I am worried that my behavior on THursday mighht have put him off and that he is being nice to me because he is sweet. It would help if someone told me what you think about the situation and how I can remedy it?
Thank you
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Sat, 05-03-2008 - 11:28am
The drama needs to stop. If you want to have a long lasting relationship you can not speak for him or accuse him of anything. Eventually that gets old and he isn't going to want to take care of you and indulge your insecurities. Are you acting this way just because of the transitions and lack of sleep or have you always been this way?
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sat, 05-03-2008 - 1:30pm

It sounds as though you are going through an emotional roller coaster and are not able to trust that he cares for you and will be there for you. There is nothing in his behavior that you've described that is causing this. Most likely it has to do with your own insecurities and perhaps experiences and issues from the past. If you are feeling so emotionally sensitive and uncertain, I suggest you seek counseling, so that you can take responsibility for your feelings, not project them onto him, and work on them appropriately, with someone trained to help you. Then, you can relax and know that you will not be secretly sabotaging the relationship, or projecting all kinds of things onto him that are not so.


Best wishes,

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-10-2007
Sat, 05-03-2008 - 3:07pm
If you have been feeling low lately why not discuss it with a professional?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 05-04-2008 - 12:03am

I agree that you are self-sabotaging and if you are an adult then you should see a professional to help you understand why you react this way and create such awful drama in your life. This guy deserves better.

You worry NOW about what your behavior might have done, but what's important is that you think before you react so you have time to change it. And uh... An anniversary happens after a year not six months