I still love him

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
I still love him
5
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 3:47pm
Please help me!! I had a crush on a guy in my undergrad. But he and I were both too shy to talk to each other. The whole class thought that I liked him. I actually tried talking to him one day be he just gave a cold response and left. We had not spoken after that. Now two years after my undergrad is over, and out of the blue, I get a call from him. I was really very happy to talk to him after so many years of wishing that I get a chance to talk to him, but then he said that he liked me....I so wanted to say that back. But I was scared that he might leave me again and not care abt my feelings just like he did in undergrad. Thatz the reason, when he said he liked me, I said that I can't tell u that i do the same since we haven't talked in a long time. He hasn't called me since then and does not pick up my calls. I know I love him but I am scared of being hurt. But right now I feel that he should have atleast tried talk out stuff rather than ceasing contact with me (and making my fear come true (fear that he would leave me again). I cannot stop thinking about him. Right now I have a very loving friend but I cannot give my love to him since I am still in love with this guy from my undergrad. Please tell me what can I do. I am confused and your help is much appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 4:18pm
i dreams2004...

FOR CRYING OUT LOUD....WHY didn't you invite this man over to your place for dinner?

As a matter of fact, pick up the telephone and see if you can 'set something up' for the weekend? Have him bring 2 bottles of your favorite wine...while you concoct something BRILLIANT in the kitchen---steak, veal, pork, or chicken, but SKIP the hamburger helper, okay? The point is....the man you've fantasized about MADE THE EFFORT to contact you.

Like a tennis player making the first volley over the net...it's time for you to "VOLLEY BACK!"

And it's only a guess....but by the time the 2 of you have finished the 2nd bottle of wine...you'll be talking about LOTS OF STUFF...including your feelings about each other?

Here's hoping????

Pianoguy

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-10-2004
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 4:25pm
Thanks for the reply....but he does not answer my calls and he lives in another state. So what option do I have? And I still have the concern that he will leave me like he did the last time.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 4:45pm
i dreams2004...

If you don't plans made for the weekend...and are free...how do you feel about taking "the red-eye night flight" to where you b/f lives? Do you think he'd be HAPPY if you made the effort to see him? Or do you think he'd be REALLY UPSET?

The only way you'll know...is to either try...or not try.

If this option isn't possible....shoot off a nice (not mushy) snail mail card to him TOMORROW! Include a short note that ends with the words: "we need to talk!"

Sign your name and mail it. The tennis ball is now...BACK IN HIS COURT!

Good luck on this...

Pianoguy (who has a 'date' with the shower...cuz there's a gig in an hour!)

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 5:28pm
Since he lives in another state, my guess is that he has a whole other life and contacting you out of the blue might have only been to test the waters, or he could have been inbetween girlfriends, or he could have had a fight with the girlfriend and was remembering that you were interested.

You need to put this to bed. You are obessing over a guy that shot you down once and now won't return your calls. Stop calling.

I know it hurts, but geez, you can't make someone return your calls and you've got to stop beating yourself up for something you didn't say when you had the chance.


Carrie

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 09-10-2004 - 8:06pm
I'm a bit confused. You were too shy to talk to eachother, you tried talking to him ONCE and he left your life. Now he calls you out of the blue ONCE, 2 years later, and you know you love him?? What about him do you love? You don't know him at all.