I think he (husband) is cheating on me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
I think he (husband) is cheating on me.
6
Mon, 01-05-2004 - 2:30am
In the begining we did everything together. Not anymore. It started 2 years ago when this 24 year old moved next door. Now he tells me when she comes home from work. The neighbors are talking about them (hubby and the 24 yr.old) I go to school during the day and he stays home. He is on disability. He knows her every move.He is always telling me when she has company. He watches her like a hawk. I will go to tell him something and he isn't in the house. He is outside usually near her house. Last month I came home early form school. We got out early because the teacher had to go home. I got here at 3pm. He was nowhere to be found. I ask the neighbors where he was. He was with the 24 year old girl. She has 2 young daughters. I found out that he left at 2 and they didn't get back until 11:00. They said they went to get diapers. I know it doesn't take 9 hours to go to the store to get diapers. Especially when the store is only 5 miles from our house. The neighbors are talking about them. I heard them talking but they didn't know I was around. When I am at school and she is off he is over her house all day until 1/2 before I get home.Then he tells me that the neighbors are saying that Jamie and my husband is having an affair. And that if it doesn't stop he is going to do it. The strange thing is I never said anything about it. He just came in yelling at me about it and said he was going to do it if she would agree to.

Until she moved next door we had sex at least 3 times a week. In the last 2 years I have had sex once every 6 months. I love my husband. But it is getting hard to believe him anymore. For Christmas this year I got him a angle grinder that he was wanting. He didn't buy me anything. But he did get Jamie and her girls and my son something. What should I do? He refuses to talk about it.

Clara
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-26-2003
Mon, 01-05-2004 - 11:49am

Keep your head up and trust your instincts......Have you confronted him on this yet?And, if not, why? You deserve to be trwated with love and respect, and if he isnt going to provide you with that, I suggest you try to move on without him.


What scares me about this, is that not only does it sound like he has a "thing" for this

 

Avatar for blondie0506
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 01-05-2004 - 12:28pm
Sounds to me like he's cheating. ANd if he's not, the time he spends with her is HIGHLY innapropriate. If I were you, I'd either leave or give him an ultimatum, counseling or divorce. Although he may choose divorce. Sounds like he's pretty wrapped up in this neighbor. I think if you ask him about it, chances are he will lie and try to turn it around and make YOU sound like the bad guy. This is beyond just your instincts. You've caught him at her house, heard the neighbors talking, and have the fact that he is aware of her every move, buys her gifts and not you, and doesn't have sex with you anymore. What more evidence do you need? I suggest seeking personal and legal counseling asap.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-17-2003
Mon, 01-05-2004 - 12:35pm
Lets just say for the sake of conversations that he is NOT having an affair...

He is still acting like crap and acting like an obsessed teenager. He is neglecting your marriage and your feelings. He is not concerned with your needs or feelings - stating that if they keep talking about him having an affair he's just gonna go ahead and do it!!??? Is he like three or something?? come on

In my personal opionion - yes he is most def having an affair. Its up to you if you want to push him into admitting it or try and get to counseling. From the sound of things, hes not gonna be too open to anything - and your best bet it to wave bye bye to his immature behind!!!

 

I am co cl for "Ask Dr. Ruth" board. 

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-01-2004
Mon, 01-05-2004 - 6:04pm
you think, or you know and don't want to face it? honey, after what you wrote, there is no doubt in my mind what is going on. is there really doubt in yours? I think you are looking for someone to tell you it is all in your imagination, so you can pretend some more. when they were out till 11 did you confront them? Did you confront them when he buys her things for christmas and not you? In my opinion, you just need to confront them both, seperate or together, and get it over with. Chances are they will lie to you, but you can say you tried. Then pack you and your child up and say see ya. Hope your happy with her, and move on with your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-2003
Mon, 01-05-2004 - 6:11pm
talk to him but it sounds like to me he is cheating. You need to confront him and tell him his behavior is unacceptable.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2004
Mon, 01-05-2004 - 7:30pm
He is probably cheating on you. Even if the woman isn't sleeping with him,

I wouldn't put up with this guy. Dump him.