I think he's cheating....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-15-2004
I think he's cheating....
3
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 9:52am
I've been sseing my boyfriend for 6 months. He has one of those jobs where he's in and out all the time. He used to ask me to ride with him all the time and usually I would say no because I didn't want to sit in the truck by myself. For the first 4 months, everyday before he left he'd tell me he loved me. Now I have to scream it out trying to catch him walking out the door. He's always acting like somethings on his mind. He used to want to have sex every night, now its everyother night or once a week. Am I doing something wrong, or is he cheating on me?
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 12:20pm

Don't blame yourself for the changes he is going through - and don't scream out that you love him in the hopes he'll say it back. For some guys, feelings change and fade with time. They cannot maintain a level of intimacy and emotion. Others get bored. Others have issues in the relationship. Certainly something is going wrong in your relationship as it seems to be diminishing. Rather than suspect him, the best thing to do is sit down and have an open, honest discussion with him. Often a guy can't say things outright so they say it through their behavior. Ask him about how the relationship is for him, if he has feelings, questions, needs, etc. If he isn't able or willing to talk about what's going on, simply tell him that you feel things are slipping and see what he says.


Ultimately, it's a matter though of you deciding that you are comfortable and happy in the relationship, that it meets your needs and that you can work on problems together. If you don't have this, then it is you who has to decide to make a new choice for yourself.


Best wishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-03-2004
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 5:26pm
I agree with drshosanna the best way to solve any probleme or insecurity is to talk to your signifigant other about them. But try not ponit fingers or blame one another, try to say things more like I feel.. or I don't understand whats going on, and just try to express your self with out makeing him feel like he's being attacked other wise it might just make things worse. I hope what little advice I do have can help you.

Good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 06-15-2004 - 5:35pm
I don't think so. He is probably very tired and worried about his job.

As long as you have sex, I wouldn't worry.

If he acts very distant and you find evidence of lipstick or powder or other things that don't look right, then you should be concerned.

Ask him why he stopped saying, 'I love you' when he leaves. Tell him you miss his assurance of love.