I think he's cheating, what do I do?
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| Mon, 06-18-2007 - 4:41pm |
My boyfriend and I have been together for 10 months and, though things were rocky at times, I never thought that I had to worry that he was committed to me or loved me. Well, he always keeps his phone locked and erases all the past calls and text messages and this was very suspicious to me. We broke up in January and he went back to his ex (who lives in a different state) for a week but then came back to me and got back together but I found out later that he was still talking with her. I confronted him and he admitted it but said he had no feelings for her. Recently, I questioned him about his phone always being locked and the fact that he refuses to let me use it and he said he's not talking to any other girls. I asked when he last talked to his ex and he said it was a long time ago. He said I don't have to worry because he wants only me and no one else. I told him I'd rather if we were honest with one another and if he wants to be friends with his ex or have female friends I don't care but I want them to know he has a girlfriend and I want him to be honest with me. He told me again he doesn't talk to anyone else.
Well, I was messing around with the cell phone website and he apparently used his same username and password as he uses on ebay (he had given me this information when he wanted to me check on a bid for him). I opened his account information and found that he has been talking to his ex almost daily for the past few months (I only looked at a couple bills). She has also sent pictures to him that he saved. He is also talking to this other girl who he knows in town who he told me he never talks to. He talked to her at least once a day!
Since I found out this information in a dishonest way and I don't know what exactly the phone conversations are about I don't know what to do. I feel so in love with him and I guess I want to believe that nothing bad is happening but I think he would be honest with me if his relationship with his ex was purely platonic. I found out about this last week and I've said to him a few times to tell me if there is anything going on because I want us to have an honest relationship and I asked him about his ex again and he is sticking with the same lie. I don't know if I should be upset since he isn't actually sleeping with his ex since she's in another state and he is with me. I don't know what to do. I don't know if I should try to contact her and ask her about it or if I should tell him what I saw. I think he's just going to deny that he did anything wrong. Well, I just need to know if I should try to talk to him or if he just seems like too much of a liar to even worry that we might be able to get past this. I just wish he'd be honest with me!

'he is sticking with the same lie.'
Then why are you with him? He is cheating on you whether he is sleeping with these girls or not. You can't stay with someone who is a chronic liar even if you feel love for him.
i know you wish he'd be honest with you, but the reality is that he is not an honest person. which means he will never be honest with you.
i agree with everyone else, you deserve better. leave this child and do it quick, then don't look back.
Welcome to the board star.gazer.19,
Unfortunately, typical cheater behavior (even if it's just an emotional affair, flirting, getting his ego stroked by remaining in contact with her) is to DENY everything and confirm NOTHING.
So since he's not coming clean, you can either present your proof to get him to address the issue, go away quietly, or put up with it.