I think I'm desperate!

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2004
I think I'm desperate!
1
Mon, 02-23-2004 - 11:07pm
Hey there everyone, im sure you've all read my posts about me and my ex, well I think I'm over him, yeah thats great, but there's more. About a week after I got home from gathering my stuff at my ex's i went on an internet dating site and one guy messaged me. I was thrilled especially when I saw his picture, he's so gorgeous! So he asked me out on a date and I accepted. We went to a movie and we had a great time. He even held my hand. (i said they were cold). After the movie we drove back to his place and we cuddled on the couch. He didn't even flinch when his roommated walked in. (I always figure if they stop cuddling with you when someone comes in, they're embarassed of you.). After watching tv for an hour or so, we went into his room to watch a movie. Yes we actually watched the movie, but after we started making out and then he asked me to stay the night. he said he's just hold me if thats all i wanted. I agreed, but then we got pretty hot and heavy and continued on, almost all the way. So the next morning I woke up and we went out for breakfast and I went home. Ever since that date I've been smitten, but you know what? I think I just appreciated the attention. So ever since that first date I've been calling him and asking him to movies and to hang out with me pretty much 4 or 5 times a week. I feel like I'm stalking him. He does come out with me when I ask him to, but I wish he'd ask once or twice. I do really like this guy but I don't think it's mutual, maybe he's just shy, i really don't know. He's not a guy who talks alot, i like that but it's also frustrating cause I don't know what he's thinking. How can I go abouts asking him if he likes me? I really hope he does, cause I'm falling for him hard. He's sweet, sexy, and we love watching movies. I think I may have moved things to quick though, i asked him to come and visit me and meet my parents. That was after only one week. Why am I doing this? I really think I'm desperate for a man's attention. I don't know how to talk about relationships with this guy, I don't want to scare him off anymore than I probably already have. I tried calling him 2 times today to see if he wanted to go to a movie, but there was no answer. (He was probably sleeping, he's a very late sleeper) but I miss his voice so much, I think I'm addicted to him. What can I do to calm down and not move things so fast? I thought he'd wanna move fast cause he's older, he's 28 and I'm 21. I think I'm doing things alllll wrong here and I'm getting mad at myself. Any suggestions would be appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Tue, 02-24-2004 - 10:11am
Yes, you're desperate for male attention. Keep in mind what this guy was pursuing was sex and he got it - and now you're doing all theinviting and offering of more sex.

So first, how could he call and invite you somewhere - you're always asking first.

But basically, why would he flinch when he's getting no obligation sex or the potential of it in front of his roommate...the only time that people back up off you when in full court press when osmeone walks in is a) if they respect and admire you as a person and that behavior is inappropriate in front of others - it shows you disrespect or b) they have a commitment elsewhere and don't want to get caught in a compromised position with you.

But, in agreeing to all this sex...realizing he was just pursuing sex - realize you're in a "sex primary" liason - and nothing else. A talk about physical exclusivity wouldn't hurt if you're going to continue this.....what you don't want at some point is to get your head together, get mature, rational, sane, realistic, self-aware and self-accepting -a nd find that you've got an incurable but non-terminal STD that you've got to discuss and having impacting every future potential relationship in your life.

Erin

quickblade14@hotmail.com