I want to make this relationship last-what should I do?
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|Tue, 03-05-2013 - 10:43pm|
my boyfriend and i are in our almost late twenties and have been dating for about 6 months..everything is going great and it's the best relationship i have been in. We both truly love each other and he treats me very well and vice versa.I can honestly say he is the person i want to spend my life with.
We don't live very close to each other; we aren't far but it's far enough where it's just too difficult during the week to make that work. I also still live with my parents in an apartment and trying to save to possibly buy something. He lives with his parents in a house because he is saving to buy something in a few years too--so there is more privacy there. Naturally we starrted spending weekends together in his area. It's the only time we can really relax, , wake up together, see each other and enjoy each other's company.
So basically he will pick me up on a friday night and drop me home monday before we go to work. I wouldn't say it's alot of time together because by friday night we are exhausted from work. I love spending weekends with him though.
His friends are single and basically call at all hours, text and they still cling to each other expecting to be available to hang out. His one friend doesn't have a girlfriend, drinks alot, parties and hooks up with girls. He calls my b/f and texts him alot. I repsect their friendship and their history and I am always nice but i can also sense this friend probably hates that I am around each weekend. He is used to having my boyfriend available on weekends to hang out, have drinks etc and doesn't always want me hanging around even though I know they see me as cool, laid back, sweet etc.
I know this happens but i just find it odd above the age of 25 to give someone a hard time about life changing. I am more accepting that this is natural when it happened to some of my friends. I can't expect them to not make their significant other an eventual top priority. (not the only but top). After a few months of dating I would hear the friend say on the phone, you aren't even dressed yet? It was basically saturday morning and we were both on the couch lounging with coffee..why would i want to rush to get dressed?
This past friday my b/f said how he was talking to that friend and was told how they give him credit because he basically frees his weekend to be with me. I found that kind of crummy and insulting of the friend to say because he makes it seem like it's a chore, bad thing or like he HAS to spend weekends with me. I basically said yea and i free my weekends to spend time with you, it's the only time we have together given living circumstances and work. The weekends go by so fast and to have people texting and calling to be in a group, it does leave little time for us..and then if we are spending time alone i almost feel guilty about it even though i know he loves me. My is the type to feel guilty easily and doesn't want others mad at him. So obviously these statements will play on my b/f's mind.
My boyfriend asked what my feelings were in regards to a guy's night/girls night out on a saturday night and he promises to be good etc..he said he loves being with me but feels bad for this friend because he doesn't have a girlfriend due to him not appreciating her and not too many friends to hang out with.
It actually caught me off guard because this is the first time he asked to be apart. I know he is a wonderful boyfriend and I am lucky but I just got quiet about it. I do trust him not to cheat but i know the friend would definitely try and meet girls putting my boyfriend in the wingman position to chat it up as well. I just hate the idea and miss him when I am not with him. I told him if that's what he wanted. He kind of dropped the subject maybe sensing it upset me a little.
The problem is I don't want him to eventually resent me and I don't want to be made to feel guilty about being with him every weekend. I want to be with him the future and want to be the best girlfriend I can be. My thought was to almost suggest it but basically not even stay over on a friday and just go home to my area after dinner. Basically that would mean we wouldn't see each other until the following weekend.
It hurts me to be away and and maybe irrationally hurts me that he suggested a night out on a saturday night without me. I know it's healthy and all of that but it's not like I see him 7 nights a week. The saturday is basically to probably do an all nighter and really party it up.
He hasnt brought it up since which was over a week ago. Should I bring it up? Should I leave the topic alone? I don't want him to change towards me because he has been very sweet with his words and affections.
I am tired of hearing his friend's tone on the phone almost depressed that my b/f isn't availalbe or we just want to hang out at home etc. We went to lunch once the three of us and as we sat down he said the third wheel meaning him. I just feel like that's crappy to make my boyfriend feel guilty but i still bought the friend a drink and I am not the type to be mushy with a boyfriend in front of friends etc. He seems like the type of friend that would even encourage him to cheat if the opportunity presented itself to break us up.
What do i do?