I want my marriage to last....
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I want my marriage to last....
| Thu, 06-24-2004 - 2:45pm |
I have been married for 5 months now and it seems like things are falling apart. My husband and I have had a rocky relationship from the beginning (5 years ago we meet). Now that we are married and living together it seems like all we do is fight. I am 12 years younger than him but does that really matter? I love him with all my heart but I don't know that getting married is what he wanted. He has told me that...it hurts me so bad when he tells me that but then why did he marry me? I don't know can someone please help me...I am going crazy trying to figure out how to refresh our relationship. He was so kind and gentle the first 2 years and now it seems he take me for granted. I want to spend the rest of my life with him but I need to know he loves me and wants to spend his life with me.

He has the right to feel how he feels, but at the same time, he needs to be respectful of your feelings as well. Why he would spout these hurtful things as to why he even married you in the first place, I dont know, but its wrong. Hes a big boy, no one forced his hand in marriage, so its a cop out to use that as an excuse for his behavior.
My next question is if you two were having these problmes, why did you go ahead with a wedding anyways?Werent red flags sticking up everywhere???
I would ask him to go to marriage counseling with you and see if he is open to that...it can only help. If all else fails, remeber that you are entitled to be happy..with ot without him.
Best wishes,
Ask him if he wants to leave. If you two want to save the marriage then seek a marriage counselor to improve your communication and lessen the fighting.
Sometimes after a marriage, the problems which existed between the couple, grow more intense. This can be because a person may now feel there's no way out. In order to keep this marriage going and make it all you both want it to be, it sounds as though you need professional counselling. Find a good marriage counsellor and go together. Often the help of a trained third person can bring clarity, better communicatioin and a way of handling emotions that neither of you now have.
I also recommend that you read my book Zen And The Art of Falling In Love. It's filled with helpful information and exercises for helping a relationship grow strong and well.
All good wishes.
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