I want us to be in love again...how???

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2004
I want us to be in love again...how???
1
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 10:51am
My boyfriend & I met 4 months ago & we fell in love immediatly. He's the one. It was perfect, so I moved in with him & we started planning our future. Lately we've hit some bumps in the road. I stopped taking zoloft for my nervousness & I have been aggrivated at little things & he says I've changed & I don't seem happy anymore. I agree & I am aware of what I have been doing, but I am sad right now, b/c I don't see that look in his eye anymore. He watches a lot of tv instead of wanting to talk to me & be with me. We have sex maybe 2 times a week now instead of 5 or 6. He says he loves me & wants to spend the rest of his life with me, but I want us to be in love again. I want him to look at me they way he use too. I know I have been acting like I wasn't happy & was being hard on him for nothing, but I love him so much and I don't want us to be like this. What can I do to get our relationship back to us being so in love with each other again?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Tue, 09-14-2004 - 11:55am
It sounds like you know you've been taking him for granted and treating him poorly recently. Some of your change in attitude could be from taking yourself off of your medication...maybe, maybe not. I would suggest that you schedule an appointment with your doctor and explain these changes to him/her in your mood and behavior.

Also, your relationship is fairly new still. There are adjustments that come with living with your significant other. It's not all rainbows and butterflies. As far as your sex life is concerned, that could be from the strain between the two of you. It also could be the natural course as relationships develop. I think many people would agree that it's pretty typical for sex to be more frequent early-on in a new sexual relationship. Things do tend to decrease a little over time.

If you really want to recapture the love you both felt before, then I think you have some changes to make. You've taken the first step by recognizing things that you have done that have caused some problems. Now it's time to make an effort to avoid hurting your boyfriend like you've been doing. Your boyfriend has commented on the fact that you no longer seem happy and that you've changed. You agreed with him on that. I think you probably have a good idea of some things you can do differently.

Also, if you try to make changes for the better, give it a little time. Don't expect things to immediately go back to how they were. That is not realistic. You will both need time to rebuild communication, trust, and intimacy.

Good Luck