If i don't do it, it will never get done
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If i don't do it, it will never get done
| Sun, 12-02-2007 - 2:59am |
Tonight i had asked my bf to take out the garbage. he said sure and then he proceeded to watch the hockey game which was fine, i know he loves his hockey, but there were two intermissions when he could have done this. All the while i was busy doing the dishes (mainly his) and cleaning up his mess cause he was making a cake (he thinks its awesome to make cakes which is cool but then expects me to clean up his HUGE mess). At the second intermission i made a little comment like " oh you should take out the garbage" He proceeded to watch tv and then i got frustrated and said " fine i'll do it". He knew i was pissed off about it so when i came back in he ignored me. I ignored him as well and went to the bedroom to watch something different on tv. (childish i know!) Anyways after the game he came into the room and acted like everything was fine and we had sex. We both got up and i went back to some cleaning cause i was wide awake. He came into the kitchen and i must have been pissed off still cause he said he was going to bed and i said "can you please take out the garbage next time" Wow he got mad at me and went into the bedroom. I realized what i said sounded a bit snide but he overreacted. He could have said something back to me instead of ignoring me. I went into the room and tried to talk to him about how i'd appreciate some help every once and a while cause i dont like messes. He just started yelling at me and saying i should ask him instead of bitching at him. This boy is seriously lazy tho. He never does anything around the apartment. He'll cook once in a while which is good, but never will he clean up after himself. I feel like his mother. So to end the discussion tonight with him, i just said "fine, i guess if i want it clean in here i'll do it, it's my job anyways because im a woman" He didn't say anything back. I think he actually believes this. Argh!!! I want a boyfriend not a child. We so need help communicating but he just gets mad everytime i try and talk about something thats bothering me. What do i do? He's the man i want to marry but he's gotta grow up!

Have you two evenly divided the chores? Does he know he's expected to take the garbage out all of the time, and clean up after himself when he cooks? If you don't have clearly-defined roles, then he's not really wrong for not doing some things.
When that's all squared away, the next time something comes up that is his job, don't do it for him. Let the garbage pile up a bit. Let him see for himself that dishes can stack up for a while and that you're not just going to do them for him.
<< I feel like his mother. >>
And, you're acting like it, too.
Welcome to the board mycatsnameisziggy,
Starbuck70 gave you some excellent advice. I'm going to stay something that will probably get dismissed, but if you think about it (even if it takes a long time) the truth of it may sink in.
You asked that the garbage be taken out...it didn't happen the way you wanted it to, when you want it to, so then YOU decided to do it yourself, because YOU wanted it done.