"If its meant to be, it will be"?

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-11-2004
"If its meant to be, it will be"?
2
Wed, 07-21-2004 - 5:10pm
I ended my 5+ year relationship with my sons father due to cheating. Its been four months and he's living with the woman he cheated on me with. It still hurts like I dont know what sometimes. But the pain seems to be slowly subsiding. Its been an extremely rocky four months but I feel im finally beginning to except that we are not together anymore and what matters is our son having a stable environment when we are in each other's presence.

However, we both seem to still care a great deal about each other but know that right now is not the time for us to be together, he has told me pretty much that he wants to be able to "sew his wild oats" although he didnt use those exact words.

There was a point when all we would do was argue because the pain was overwhelming for me and the mere vision of him was a reminder of how much he hurt me. But when we dont argue about what happened and he comes to see the baby if you didnt know our history in some cases we still look as a "happy family". And Im not really comfortable with that because I know I still love him deeply and I think he still loves me also. I want it to be clear to him that I will not accept him having his "cake and eating it to". I would want there to be a reconciliation if he could change. I know he's not ready for that yet. What Im getting at is there are so many cliches about love: If it's meant to be it will be, If you love someone let them go if they come back it's meant to be etc, etc. What is your take on this. Is there any truth to that. What Im really trying to figure out is could there be hope for us somewhere down the line?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 2:11pm
Hmm, how about once a cheater always a cheater?

Sorry.

I think you have to move forward with your healing and if he ever decides he wants something more with you, he will have to prove himself - including counseling. However, something tells me that his values justify his behavior and he probably doesn't think he's done anything wrong. He did what he wanted to do.


Carrie

Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Thu, 07-22-2004 - 2:56pm
The man sounds like a real winner to me. Geez. You guys have a baby together, he cheated on you with another woman who he is now living with, and you are wondering if there is any hope for your relationship once the boy has gone out, lived with/screwed/dated other women and gotten it out of his system? Please.

Find a man, not a little boy if you want a relationship.