ignoring the x = sign of weakness?
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ignoring the x = sign of weakness?
| Tue, 06-22-2004 - 3:39am |
So i dumped my gf 3 months ago, which is now my x.She cheated on me. We use to go to this lounge together all the time. I have been a few time, and noticed she is there, and she notices me, and she'll start flirting with all the guys in front of me. I dont let it bother me, so i leave. I know she still goes, but i havent been in about 2 months. I feel she wants me to reappear again. I dont want to give her the satisfaction, so i cut this too. No contact at all. She hasnt tried to reach me in anyway after i dumped her, but visual at the lounge. I seen her just this once, and i completely ignored her. Kicked it with some friends meeting new girls and i left before she.
Sometimes i feel ignoring or cutting all ties is a sign of weakness, giving the other the upperhand?

No, cutting all ties and ignoring someone you have broken up with, is a sign of strength. It shows that you are not a yo-yo, and going back and forth, getting pulled in by all kinds of games and manouevers. She hurt you, you chose to end the relationship and you are being true to that choice. What is over is over. So, you have no further contact with her, and when you accidentally run into her and she tries to upset you again, you just don't get pulled in. That's good. Don't get pulled back into a power game with her. Obviously, she plays games. If she can get you to play again, then she wins.
There is no winner in game playing. As long as you expressed your feelings to her at the end of the relationship, told her why you were leaving and how you felt, that's enough. Now behave with respect for yourself. Move forward and find someone who you can trust and give your time, attention and energy to.
All good wishes.
It's A New Day With Dr Shoshanna - Wed. 2-3 EST.
Carrie