Just wanted to come here and say that there are people who break up after much longer than 4 years. Having time invested in a relationship is not a reason to continue to stay together - GOOD RELATIONSHIPS stay together because they love one another, love one another's company, want to fulfill goals together, do not want to be with other people and feel warmth and comfort rather than boredom and disdain.
It could be that you will come back here when you are more sober and say "sorry I just needed to rant, this situation seems worse than it really is and I'm going to stay."
But I do hope you give a lot of thought to the reasons why you are still in a relationship that doesn't seem to be making you that happy.
Don't project this one year a whole twenty years into the future, so many people unwittingly shoot themselves in the foot that way for things bigger and smaller than this that it's not even funny.
'If I saw this, I'd probably say big deal, suck it up, deal with it and quit your whining,'
I would never suggest this if you were unhappy.
'He's doing it all himself (which I'm proud of believe it or not) but the house is running his life and as a result running mine.'
Have you spoken to him about this? What about a compromise where he pays people to help him speed up the process and in turn, you get more time with him and it helps the relationship? Do you think that once the house is done, that he will be more social and want to go out more?
<< When I'm with him, I do feel content and even happy sometimes, but I guess I wish he would do more, be more.
Just wanted to come here and say that there are people who break up after much longer than 4 years. Having time invested in a relationship is not a reason to continue to stay together - GOOD RELATIONSHIPS stay together because they love one another, love one another's company, want to fulfill goals together, do not want to be with other people and feel warmth and comfort rather than boredom and disdain.
It could be that you will come back here when you are more sober and say "sorry I just needed to rant, this situation seems worse than it really is and I'm going to stay."
But I do hope you give a lot of thought to the reasons why you are still in a relationship that doesn't seem to be making you that happy.
Don't project this one year a whole twenty years into the future, so many people unwittingly shoot themselves in the foot that way for things bigger and smaller than this that it's not even funny.
'If I saw this, I'd probably say big deal, suck it up, deal with it and quit your whining,'
I would never suggest this if you were unhappy.
'He's doing it all himself (which I'm proud of believe it or not) but the house is running his life and as a result running mine.'
Have you spoken to him about this? What about a compromise where he pays people to help him speed up the process and in turn, you get more time with him and it helps the relationship? Do you think that once the house is done, that he will be more social and want to go out more?
'
Welcome jag302004,
Sandra gave you excellent advice.
....."I feel restless with alot of things in my life.