I'm in a deep hole?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2012
I'm in a deep hole?
6
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 12:54am
I've been dating this woman for 3 weeks, she is 41 and i'm 26, we've already had our first date i met her family, she always talks about sex, and wanting to come over, and were both on disability, i'm autistic and she suffered brain damage, but her dad says he wants to meet my parents BEFORE she can come over, but the problem is she wants to wait a whole year before her DAD meets my parents. Should i just dump her and date another girl because i don't wanna wait almost a year for this woman's dad to meet my parents. I Just feel something isn't right? What should i do with a woman that wants me to wait 9 months for her dad to meet my parents? Should I move on? When i asked about when her dad would like to meet my parents, she said her dad didn't know and she was like i just want to wait about a year until your parents meet my dad, i've already met her family on our first date her dad wasn't able to be there and her mom is dead, she talks about wanting to date more, i like this girl but 9 months SHE says she wants to come over and have sex and is like when can i come over and then she questions me about when she can and i tell her when your dad says it's alright, and she's like i want to wait until christmas. Is this woman worth keeping it's like she doesn't know what she wants all im saying is this woman im dating she's my gf now we talk constantly says that she wants to come over so we can basically start seeing each other more, what bothers me most is the length of time, i can easily find another woman to date and have her meet my parents and vice vera, i find it important and we can't do much until our parents meet? Should I end it? Need Advice?
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-22-2007
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 5:54am

Boarash, one of my personal dating rules was always to date people who are easy to understand.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 10:54am

Do you live at home with your parents?

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2006
Tue, 02-21-2012 - 10:57am
It could be that while she is comfortable talking about sex, she isn't prepared for having an intimate relationship. Perhaps she's a virgin and is scared or maybe her parents have encouraged her against having sex until she is married and she is making excuses to avoid coming to your house because she knows that's what you have in mind. In any good relationship, communication is important and I would advise you to talk to her about these things. Also, you need to be honest about your own feelings. Are you willing to wait to have sex with her until she is ready? If so, let her know. If not, it may be best to take a step back. I agree with true.blue--talking with your parents could help you figure out just what to do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2012
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 2:14am
Thanks true, i'll discuss it with my parents tonight, i told my mom about it and she was like im fine until you wait about a year, if that's what your gf wants, but i didn't tell my mom i had a problem with it though. I mean i understand of she would have said give me a few months to know you better, i feel almost a year is WAY too long, most posts i googled about this problem tell me most dates they meet their parents within weeks or a few months, one woman said waiting a year is too long and seems suspicious, and when i questioned why she wants to wait so long she just says i want my dad to meet your parents on a holiday you know, what's confusing is she's basically double-minded, she's basically saying i can't wait to come over then asks when she can, and i tell her i have to wait till your dad says it's ok, and then she's like not until december, right, christmas. The type of brain damage she has isn't major and doesn't affect her she said it came before she was shortly deprived of oxygen at birth. I'll discuss it with my parents tommorow, but can brain damage even if minor make a woman act like this.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2012
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 2:23am
Yes i live with my parents, i only told my mom about it, and i was like mom this woman wants you and dad to wait about a year to meet her dad, and my mom was like im fine with that.. the problem is im not, previous women iv'e dated i met their parents, and they met mine soon afterwards. She's basically is saying this i just want to go on dates, and then on christmas/december, we can start going to each others house, all i can think is why does this woman wanna wait almost a year just to start "visiting each other, when she's already met my parents. Thanks, i will, it's just so hard for me to let her go, because she tells me she loves me, wants to be with me, it's difficult because im autistic and it's hard enough to get into relationships.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2012
Wed, 02-22-2012 - 2:26am
Nah, she told me she isn't a virgin and has had sex before. Yeah I told her i would wait to have sex with her i didn't push it on her, i never asked for sex, she brought it up. Thanks i'll keep in mind that she might not be ready for an intimate relationship.