I'M GETTING A JOBBBBBBBBBB

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-20-2003
I'M GETTING A JOBBBBBBBBBB
3
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 12:49am
if u guys remember me, i've had it with the disrespect from the husband.

he has poisoned the minds of my kids to treat me disrespectfully also.

i have had it. i used to go to his office and straighten it out to only get yelled at.

he treated me terribly in the house also, deliberately throwing things around the house. he would come home at 10-11 o'clock at night.

we now need the money, and i'm going to find a teaching job, until we pay off the money, and then, i'm going to save my own money. he will treat me with respect,once he sees that i'm not doting all over him, and the kids will see the same. i will be taking care of MEEEEEE. they will see that i will not have time for them anymore, so when i do have some time, i'll receive respect from all of them.

i'm not talking about babies. i'm referring to a 23 year old, who should be on her own, who bosses me around, who has done nothing out of college, for the last 2 years, except boss me around, just like dad, and a 14 year old, who does nothing and appreciates nothing. the 14 year old is not disrespectful, but all she does is goes on the computer all day, although i've given her the job of taking care of the cats. she claims to love them, but she does nothing for them anymore. she doesn't even play with them. it's such a shame. we have 7 cats. they appreciate me.hehehe

i love my kitties.

so, if a school hires me, then i'll receive respect, for sure. i know it.

i'm happier already.

tomorrow i have 2 interviews.

what do u guys think?

will i receive the respect that i finally deserve????

daylia-kitties

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2004
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 1:42am
Hello,

I just recently quit my career with the birth of my second child 7 months ago. I too feel that my spouse does not appreciate what I do. He hates his job and comes home to take it out on me. He has started disrespecting me in front of others. I feel so powerless because I do not bring in any income. I wanted so desperately to be home with my 2 1/2 and 7 month old boys, but I can't stand the disrespect. I work hard to have the house clean, dinner cooked, etc. Somedays I feel if I try any harder, I will just have a meltdown and I can't afford for my kids to be scared of me because I can't keep it under control. My spouse used to be my best friend. He chased me and I quit running after a while. Now, he goes to work and has nothing left over for the family. I will probably go back to work not because we really need the money, but because maybe then he will respect me.
Avatar for drshoshanna
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 12:02pm

Getting a job sounds like a wonderful idea. The important point is you need to respect yourself. You need to create boundaries and build a life that you respect. Time out of the house is very important here. So is having your own income. Then you will feel more independent and able to create a life which is healthy and uplifting for you. In order to receive respect from others, we have to treat ourselves well. We must not permit negative behavior towards ourselves but know how to create strong boundaries. It is up to you to stop your daughter (and husbabnd) from treating you badly. Abuse is negative for all who engage in it. If she behaves this way, she not only disrespects you, but herself as well. She should have a job, be out of the house a good portion of the time and have limits set on her behavior. It sounds as though she has identified with her father. The struggles that you are having suggest that the problem here has gone deep. I strongly suggest that you seek professional counselling on building up your own sense of self worth, setting boundaries, and learning how to handle the difficult situation at home. Going to work is a wonderful first step. It is not the whole story, however. Get yourself the help and support you need to really grow sufficeintly to handle all these difficult challenges in your life.


Best wishes.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2003
Wed, 08-25-2004 - 12:26pm
I think it takes respectful people to give you respect. Are they?