Im "getting old to him"...what to do....

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
Im "getting old to him"...what to do....
3
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 10:01pm
My boyfriend of 3 years is contemplating breaking up with me. Were both young, 22, and he says that Im "getting old" to him. He wants that feeling back of being in a new relationship (the excitment, ect) He wants to be single. Even though I really dont know why, all his friends are in long time relationships. Our relationship is good overall. We really never fight or anything like that. Him wanting to break up with me is breaking my heart. Hes been feeling like this for about 4-5 days now and Ive cried multiple times everyday. I live with him and so breaking up would mean moving all my stuff out and going back home or finding a new place to live. I LOVE HIM so much and I DONT want to break up. Hes agreed to stay together for another 2 weeks or so to see if his feeling change but he doesnt know if they are going to. He says we could "see other people" and still kind of date or whatever but Im scared that in doing this he'll find someone new. How can I put the spark back in our relationship. Obviously I cant make it new again but Im hoping I can do something. Anyone whos ever been though this or knows about this please give me some input.

Thanks so much!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-18-2004
Wed, 06-16-2004 - 11:21pm
You are both so very young. Let him go, but make him wait until you have sorted yourself out a good place to stay. Don't wait on him, don't rush for him. Just make your plans and establish yourself. He may come back. He may not. Let him go have his fun! You have yours!
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-04-2003
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 5:04pm
How sad for you, especially since you live together.

Sounds like if you are 'getting old to him' that he's bored with the relationship, looking for something new and exciting. However, if he doesn't know how to maintain a relationship and the spark, trust me, he may find it with a new woman, but it won't last long either. Making a relationship work takes two people. He needs to address his boredom and not look to you, another person, place or thing for his happiness and excitment in his life.

It might only be the routine of life with you that is making him yearn for something different. Try something out of your routine.


But bottom line, you may have to let him go, so he can figure out what he really wants. Sorry you have to go through this.


Carrie

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-17-2004
Thu, 06-17-2004 - 7:05pm
I hate to say this but it sounds like he has mad eup his mind and is just throwing you a bone by 'trying' for 2 weeks.

ave hte two of you sat down and REALLY talked about what the problem is? Is it really just boredom or are there specific things that he can share wiht you. You guys could only work this out if BOTH of you are willing and at htis point it seems like he isn't.

You are both pretty young so I would gve him the space he needs and while you're at it, give yourself some space to.

Also, not sure if you've ever read this but it makes a lot of sense.

http://www.brendashoshanna.com/BrendaShoshanna_noframes/Articles/Deeds%20of%20Worth.htm

He just may not be ready for what a serious long term relaitonship entails.