I'm hurt and feel sooo quilty

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-22-2007
I'm hurt and feel sooo quilty
4
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 9:06am

I'm 30 now and I've been with my bf for 6years now. He never hits me but always say he would if we had a argument. He always calls me a bitch if his angry, one time a slut cause I watch a movie with a gay friend of mine (during that time we were not toghether for about 3 months, but still worked at the same place and saw each other everyday), and alwasy giving me the blame for his behavier or if something went wrong in his life. Twice his broken up with me and the first time he asked me if I'm gonne commit suicide now that he wants to leave me ( I have never had suicide thoughts in my life, felt dawn before but not enough to kill myself). At that moment I felt so confused.

Every time just before he broke up with me he was really nasty with me. But he always came back to me and I took him back. I also feel depressed all the time now and doubt myself the whole time. A few monts ago I broke up with him. But we still live together. I still love him. But haven't told him this. He wants me back and tell me he wants to stay the rest of his live with me. But Im so confused. I feel hurt and it feels maybe I should take him back. I feel so quilty and depressed. Feels like he realy needs me and I'm letting him down. I really don't know how to deal with this feelings any more. His been realy nice with me since I said I just can be in this ralationship anymore. Some days I feel so angry about the way he treated me. But then it just goes away and I feel I must take him back.

He tells me every day how much he loves me and he wants to marry me. He aslo have to move out but can't at the moment cause he doesn't have anough money for rent. He also blames me for putting him in this financial position. Because he said we pland our live together and now suddenly I want out and that he never would have taken his new job if he knew I felt like I did. We work at a Hotel so we could live in.

I just feel so quilty and confused and feel everything is my fault.

Please help I don't know what to do any more

Please

Can anybody give me advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-29-2003
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 9:21am
Follow your heart and give yourelf permission to be selfish. You're not married so you have the freedom and flexibility to do whatever you think is right. Myself, I wouldn't tolerate name-calling and that kind of attitude. There's plenty of fish in the sea you don't have to settle for the carp.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-27-2004
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 10:59am
I can give some advice: No matter what he says, DON'T MARRY HIM! His behavior is already rude, disrepectful, manipulative, and unloving. There's no reason to believe he'll ever change. The only good reason to stay in this relationship is to prevent him from doing the same thing to whoever comes after you, and you don't even know her.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 12:37pm

Welcome to the board vlooi5,


Sweetie, you need to get away from this guy.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2007
Fri, 06-22-2007 - 1:17pm
Omg! You shouldn't feel guilty for the way he acts. You don't need to put up w being called names. It's so degrading. And he won't change, they always say they will to get what they want. You prob will feel guilty to a point but that's actually normal. It's ok to love him, but you have to see that clearly he doesn't understand how your suppose to treat someone you love. Its all a little mind game. Just get you to stay with him. Honestly, you deserve to be treated better and there is no shame in that.