I'm a newlwed...and I'm miserable
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| Sat, 09-08-2007 - 8:49pm |
me and my new husband have changed with each other......
we hardly talk to each other, much less spend time together...
i make time, i try, i ask him to sit and talk to me, i bring up things for us to do...i feel like i have tried enough and nothing....
i feel alone and so miserable sometimes....
i have brought it up to him and asked him if he still loves me and he says yes...and that's the end of it....
im over 2,000 miles away from my friends and family...and so now i find myself missing them more than ever because i feel totally alone here without his companionship....yes there are other factors like we both work graveyard shift but i sacrifice sleep and other things to take care of him and make sure he's doing good with whatever he needs...
i feel like he's forgotten to do the same for me...
and i just found myself wondering what im really here for?

Wow, that's pretty bad. How long have you been married?
I think that if you really love one another and want to make your marriage work, you will find a way - but you will need his help 100%. There is no job in the world that is worth sacrificing your life for, if you can possibly find work that is during better hours for you then I think you should absolutely go for it.
Unfortunately the real test of his character would be, instead of continuing to go out of your way and make sacrifices for him and complaining that he doesn't do the same for you, to STOP making those sacrifices and let him do his own thing. Either he'll take notice that something is amiss and realize that he has to put work into this marriage too, or he'll ignore it.
I'd hate to see newlyweds break up so soon after getting married but this is a pretty crucial time for you both and you both need to put in equal effort into it. I'm not married myself but the most successful and happy couples I've ever seen will ALWAYS put the other person before themselves - they always know that they will be taken care of if ever they need it. I really hope he comes around for you.
You haven't told us a lot about your situation. How long did you date before getting married? How much in-person time did you spend before moving there? Was this an on-line relationship?
Did he really change after marriage or are you just getting to know him?