I'm not even sure what to call this.
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I'm not even sure what to call this.
| Thu, 08-21-2008 - 3:47pm |
Hi,
I'm not sure what to do about my current situation.
I will start by trying to explain it
| Thu, 08-21-2008 - 3:47pm |
Hi,
I'm not sure what to do about my current situation.
I will start by trying to explain it
I wish I had a better answer for you, joanne. But people who are wrong, and know they're wrong, will do whatever it takes to shift the blame so they don't have to FEEL wrong. He blamed you, brought in other issues (a huge "no-no" when arguing about something), couldn't stay on topic, didn't apologize, and pushed you away.
I don't think this is the "comfort level" stage, I think he just doesn't care as much. Care is not the same as comfort.
This guy sounds like a loser. I think you're wasting your time trying to revive something just because it was living and breathing at one time. You're the one wanting to put in effort and fixing it, but he isn't meeting you halfway. You can talk until you're blue in the face trying to explain WHY he should love you and WHY he should show you that he cares, but... Do you really think he has to be told how to have a relationship? He doesn't.
Pick up the following books TODAY:
Are You The One For Me? -Barbara DeAngelis
Too Good To Leave, Too Bad To Stay -Mira Kirshenbaum
The Five Love Languages -Gary Chapman
Read them this weekend. They're not difficult material but they will open your eyes. You can only control whether or not you're in this relationship, you can't make him care for you more. And joanne, I don't think he's keeping this girl around just because he "likes the attention". He's sowing a seed.
The biggest part of choosing a good and lasting relationship is choosing a person to be with who treats you with kindness, consistency, love, and respect - and sometimes it takes more than a year to know if a man is really capable of that. Don't expect every relationship to be fixable, if you need to fix a person to make him right for you, then he's just not right for you.
Welcome to the board joanne5699,
Eggbertshootsfire gave you some good advice and reading material, I hope you can hear it all.
Sounds to me like he's already having an emotional affair. Of course he shifted blame because he doesn't want anything to change.
I completely agree with the excellent advice you've already received, and I wanted to add a couple things. First, it seems that you know that