I'm Not Sure What To Do

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-11-2009
I'm Not Sure What To Do
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 10:39pm

Just a little background before I get started...

My boyfriend (31) and I (26) have been together for almost four years and we have a 2 year old son. We've had our rocky moments but nothing we didn't sort out or let go. Last year he was deploying and thought it was best if I move to my mother's house to save money and to make things easier (we lived about 4 hours from family). So I quit my job and moved back to my mother's house, which I was set against in the first place, and it took me about 2-3 months to find a job and even then it was only part time. I was pretty much miserable the entire time he was gone and just made life routine. Take my son to daycare and go to work and then home. He just came home a few weeks ago and we went on a vacation to get our relationship back to normal and to have some time alone together. We were gone about 8 days and I didn't enjoy myself at all. He wasn't loving, or caring or even thoughtful. We hardly talked and when we did, I felt like he was arguing with me or putting down everything I had to say. I haven't heard that I'm wanted or needed or that he loves me in a long time...When we came back he spent a day with our son and then I left to go back to my mother's and he stayed at his parent's (another 4 hours away). He had a job interview last friday, which was my birthday. He didn't call or text to say Happy Birthday. When I finally called him at 7pm that day he didn't say it until I brought it up. He said he had a stressful day and didn't think about it and said he was sorry but I didn't give him a chance to say it. I guess my expectations were too high? I was expecting something as soon as I got up that day considering that we didn't get to spend the day together and haven't spent my birthday together in a few years...he spent the weekend with friends. He went out drinking and to a football game. I haven't had the chance to enjoy my birthday in a long time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2008
Tue, 09-27-2011 - 11:06pm
Well, I honestly don't think your're being to pushy. You sound to be a very loving person that shows that love outwardly to the ones nearest you, especially him...I think you deserve the love and affection you've been waiting for as well as your son....Maybe when he came back, he needed some man time or something...i dont know how that whole thing works, but i would think he would be anxiously awaiting a return with you and your child.....Best of luck......sorry im not much help...just hang in there maybe sit him down and say alright look...we need to focus on us......now....
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Wed, 09-28-2011 - 1:12am

Where was he deployed?

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Wed, 09-28-2011 - 9:07am


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-28-1999
Wed, 09-28-2011 - 11:13am

I think right now you should focus on getting a job and finding out where you want to live.