Im the one for him, is he the one for me
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| Sat, 08-16-2008 - 2:51pm |
Maybe I'm just depressed and have major anxiety. Or maybe my relationship is tearing me up inside. My boyfriend is so good to me and I love him for it. He would do anything and has done anything to be with me and keep me. The only problem is, he is much older and has been in many relationships before, where as this is the only relationship I have ever been in.
I know I am the one for him, I know he wants me and only me and is done looking. I am his dream girl, I am the one he wants to spend the rest of his life with. Even though I love him and I don't want to break up with him, I have thoughts of wanting to explore being single and being in other relationships. I've told him about this and he tells me it isn't worth it. Why would you want to put yourself through pain and breakups?
I'm really sad because I dont want to loose him, but at the same time I wish I could have had some experience before meeting him, (but then maybe I wouldn't have been interested, right?) I have been with him for 2 years because we work well together and he has become the best friend I've ever had. I feel trapped because I feel like I can never break up with him, and if I do I'm afraid I will have made a mistake I will regret for the rest of my life.
I just wish I could be happy in my relationship and not worry about what might happen in the future, or what I don't have.

Welcome to the board calli_lily,
If you have any doubts then he's not the guy for you, experience or not..
If you feel trapped then something is not right with your situation.
I agree with the others.
There are some people who can date someone the rest of their life even if they have never experienced a relationship before. Do they have doubts? Definitely. But sometimes it is worth it.
This may be a mistake and maybe it is not, the only way you could ever know whether leaving is the right decision is to do it. If he thinks you really are THE ONE for him then maybe you will find your way back to one another, but you should not be in a relationship where you feel trapped and depressed because you're not 100% sure. I can't make this decision for you because it has to be yours. All I know from my experience of having several very long-term relationships is that I always felt trapped until I found the guy who was right for me and never felt that even once in four years of being together. It's understandable that this guy doesn't want to lose you because he probably doesn't understand what it's like to just not know for sure, or to feel trapped by inexperience. But neither he nor we can tell you that it's "not worth it" to explore yourself in being single or in other relationships. He's incredibly biased, and we here know that it either works or it doesn't. You're taking a risk either way. No relationship is "meant to be" - there are only people who fit, people who don't fit, and people who fit extremely well. Perhaps you will find someone who fits you better. It's always possible.
If you can't be in this relationship 100%, or recuperate from this period of doubt, then you should probably leave because he needs someone who is as sure as he is. You deserve that too, and if being on your own would help then I think you should strongly consider that.