I'm pregnant and he is cheating!!!! HELP
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I'm pregnant and he is cheating!!!! HELP
| Fri, 06-29-2007 - 7:39pm |
I just found out I am 8 weeks pregnant with my first child.
My fiance is the baby's father and we've been together for 4 years.
I found out that he has been seeing someone else on the side (emails, phone calls, meetings....). I don't have a clue how long its been going on since I've only seen one email and a few phone calls to/from each of them. I'm pretty sure they aren't sleeping together but at the same time I am concerned.
I don't know what to do. I really love him and want to marry him and raise OUR baby, but I don't know if I can do that now.
HELP! What to do????

DON'T marry him - Do NOT marry this guy. No matter what he says, how sorry he is do not marry him. The last thing you need is marriage, insecurities and a baby. You have no choice but to confront him. What did the email say? How often is he talking to or seeing this person?
Why were you checking his email? Why were you checking the phone bill? What's going on in the relationship?
You have a lot to figure out and babies tend to make problems worse not better.
I wouldn't tell you not to marry him because at the end of the day you are going to do what you want. I think that maybe you should confront him about what you have found out. I think if you are concered then talk to him about it don't let it go on any longer...You must of had some suspision and feeling insecure for you to look through his email and phone calls..You can never be too sure if he is sleeping with this women or not. If he loves you like he says he does he wouldn't be out there talking emailing or meeting up with this other women. You need to love yourself and really open your eyes to the big picture if hes doing it now who's to say he would stop when you get married. I really hope things get better for you. If it comes down to you leaving then so be it because he can't have his cake and eat it too. Maybe it will open his eyes to what he has lost because sometimes when you have been with someone for so long you sometimes tend to take that person for granted. He's probably thinking well my fiance is at home taking care of everything while im out meeting up with this one. it is wrong and no one deserves that. be strong and stand your ground don't let him break you down I know you love him if you have been with him for four years but its obvious to see its something he isn't ready for if hes out being unfaithful. well i hope you find out and everything gets better for you honey just be strong stand tall and keep your head up and know that there are people out there that love you back that im sure you can lean on for support not only on here but family wise.. -jenn aka browneyedbabi
Edited 7/1/2007 7:16 pm ET by browneyedbabi
Well thanks everyone for the kind words and encouragement.
I have told him about the baby as well as about knowing about his "extra" relationships.
The girl (I say girl because she was only 18...he and i are 22)he was talking to called me today and apologized..and I mean crying apologizing. She said she would have never gotten involved with him if she knew he was engaged. She told me about 100 times that they never had sex...so I'm hoping she is being truthful.
He is really upset too....crying, etc.... He says he wants to work it out for me but more importantly for our baby. He says he started talking to her because he got scared...I guess maybe because I am the first true girlfriend he ever had.
So we are trying to work this out. I have a dr. appt tomorrow (monday)to check on the baby and we are probably going to start couples thearpy and probably put off the wedding at least until the baby is born.
I'm just glad he could stand up and admit he was wrong and act like a man about it instead of a child and deny it.
Dixiecheck, I second the don't marry him advice....at least not until the two of you get some counseling because of this part especially:
::She said she would have never gotten involved with him if she knew he was engaged
Which means HE NEVER TOLD HER or lied to her.
And this part too:
::He is really upset too....crying, etc.... He says he wants to work it out for me but more importantly for our baby. He says he started talking to her because he got scared...
He's more upset he got caught. He was scared so he acted single and tried to pick up another girl. So what happens the next time he gets scared?
I talked to him again today. We are planning on therapy...which is good.
He talked to her (the girl he was seeing) on the phone while I was there...I was listening...he had her on speaker. He told her it was over...she was like well duh...your fiance is pregnant...she basically told him to F*** off.
As for the drs. appt. I went this afternoon and the dr couldnt find anything...he seems to think it was a chemical pregnancy (which is basically an early miscarriage.)
:( so sad....I was really becoming ok with the idea of being a mom. o well...we can try again...maybe.
Thnks for the support. This is the last post for me as I am going back to work this week after vacation and won't have alot of free time! :)