im a sad cheater

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2003
im a sad cheater
4
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 2:54pm
I have been with my bf for 7 years. We have a good relationship, we are good friends..until recently when our sex life became less than exciting. I ended up cheating on him with a co-worker of whom i had NO feelings for. He forgave me and i began working on our relationship. 3 weeks ago a mutual friend expressed his like for me, I began sort of seeing this guy. He is super sweet and kind and just an all around nice guy. My bf has become frustrated by my relationship with this guy and is weighing our future. mutually the guy and i have expressed our like for each other. It grew very quickly between us and we both have strong feelings. I dont want to break up with my boyfriend because i love him so much..but how do i know for sure i am not staying out of convenience? How do i know that this other guy wont make me very very happy? UGH please help!! I am SO depressed and sad.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 4:03pm

Welcome to the board redfishrae,


Since you have cheated once and you really like this new guy and developed a strong connection with him and you are emotional cheating right now, I don't think you really want to stay in your current relationship. If you did, you wouldn't be doing these things to sabotage it.


I think the best for you to do right now is stop seeing both guys and be single. Give yourself some time to find yourself and what you want out of life.


Good luck to you.


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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Mon, 04-30-2007 - 7:03pm

Hi redisfrae,


I totally agree with Coltara.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 12:53am

Take it from someone who has been with the same man for 12 years (married for 6 of those) strictly out of convenience and comfort.


If you are straying now, it will only get worse if you marry. I would break ties now before you hurt yourselves even further. My H and I are discussing divorce after 6 years; something of which shouldn't be occurring because we should have never married in the first place, but did out of security and comfort.


You need to find someone who completes who you are :)


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-27-2007
Tue, 05-01-2007 - 10:13am

"I dont want to break up with my boyfriend because i love him so much..but how do i know for sure i am not staying out of convenience?"

You love him so much but you cheated on him and now you are falling for another guy? You may love him in the sense that he is a good person and you have a history with him, but if you really loved him so much, would you have cheated on him? It sounds like you need to break up with your boyfriend so you BOTH can find true happiness.

Cheating and having your connection elsewhere is not the way to show your love for your boyfriend. Move on and let him move on as well.