i'm sick of sex...

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
i'm sick of sex...
5
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 4:20pm
Hi, I am a 24 year old woman, and I have been married for almost 6 years. The problem in my relationship is that I don't ever feel like having sex. Once we are into it, it's great and I do climax. But actually getting in the mood is very hard. Then to top it all off, my husband ALWAYS is making lewd comments or touching my breast or something. What do I need to do to get it back like it was when I actually enjoyed intimacy? Your help is much appreciated.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-20-2004
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 5:25pm
nothing can kill it for me like 16-year-old-boy attempts at getting me in the mood. you need some grown up romancing. tell him to stop with the crassness and the groping and try treating you like a lady, not like a cheap thrill.

sorry, this hit a nerve with me

Avatar for lucy4980
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 6:27pm
You really need to talk to your husband about this. Tell him that lewd comments and grabbing you does nothing to turn you off and in fact has the opposite effect. Tell him that the best way to get you in the mood is too... (hold you, kiss you behind the ears, light some candles and draw a bath, or whatever it is that turns you on). I think that a lot of men forget that women don't have an on/off switch for sex like they do.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-23-2004
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 7:08pm
I kinda disagree with the other posters...

Maybe his methods are not the most mushy, but I think you might of forgotten that these comments mean you turn him on. That he wants you! This is a good thing!

Instead of trying to change him (who might not be turned on by a more romantic method, and it is two people in the relationship) try this:

Change yourself first. Be lewd back! Show him in HIS own way that you desire him also. But then explain to him that you want the mushy stuff also. That way the both of you are happy.

I love sex, but I like to make sure I do not let the pressures of life get to me. So I make sure that, AT THE LEAST, either my SO or I (or both of us) climax every other day. I do not let a week go by that we do not fool around (AT THE VERY LEAST) 4 times. So if I am not in the mood, he gets some oral sex. If we both are, then what ever happens happens. If he is not, his fingers go a walking.

Sometimes I am soooooo tired, and it seems like work. That is until it feels good. Then it is a party!

I live by this: Sex is a way to be intimate, and I love the intimacy I have with my man, in and out of the bedroom. And sex leads to more sex, and it feels good.

Another thing: Say you like the neck kissing thing, it makes you want sex. Do you tell him that or do you hope he has figured it out by now?

For me, affection make me frisky. When I feel neglected, I ask him for a pat on the head. It makes me smile, I get all mushy and then I plan to pounce. It is such a little thing, but there is no way he could have figured that out on his own! I expect him to put out regularly, not read my mind! :)

I also find that masterbating quite often makes you want sex more.

Jessa

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-25-2004
Fri, 06-18-2004 - 9:48pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-18-2004
Mon, 06-21-2004 - 9:18am
Thanks for your posts. I'll take them and see if I can't fix this little problem. I think it really is a mind thing with me. :)