I'm thinking...about leaving

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
I'm thinking...about leaving
5
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 5:06pm

Hi,


Here's the background of our situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 6:30pm

Welcome to the board mom_melissa23,


Which relationship do you want to save? The one with the father of the baby, the one with the new guy, or the one with yourself?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 8:03pm

Regardless of what happens with Zach, do not date another guy! YOu do not need a man to be happy and it seems you like to overlap men.


I think it is time to go to counseling to figure out why you would put up with the alcohol for so long among other things. Do it for your child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Sun, 10-26-2008 - 8:12pm

melissa, if you end up cheating on zach with someone else, you won't have a choice anymore - zach will make the decision to end the relationship.

But perhaps this is what you want, to have the decision be made by someone else.

We can't tell you what to want, who to want, or how things will turn out. You have to do some soul-searching and discover what would make YOU happy. Once you have a goal in mind, finding the steps along the way will be easier. Cheating is probably not the right answer for you, it is not something you will feel good about and your chances with the new guy turning into something lasting are very very slim.

It also sounds like you want a stronger reaction from zach. But he's right, what do you want HIM to do about YOUR feelings for him? Maybe you should seriously think about this question, there could be a legitimate answer. Good luck.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-03-2007
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 12:01am

To clear things up...my son's father I haven't heard from since I was 3 months prego...so he was never in the picture.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-30-2005
Mon, 10-27-2008 - 7:21pm

Welcome to the board Melissa,


I see that you decided to stay with Zach. I am not sure that was the best decision to make. Sometimes being selfish isn't such a bad thing. Especially if it will lead to your happiness. I have to say that I don't think Zach and his drinking are a good example for your son. I also think that more than likely he will end up drinking again, andk if he does it isn't your fault. Don't blame yourself for his drinking. It is his decision to make.


Best of luck to you.