I'm too quiet?
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I'm too quiet?
| Sat, 09-06-2008 - 12:20pm |
My boyfriend complains often that I am "too quiet." He says I go through silent periods where I do not talk at all and that it leaves him confused about how I feel or what I am thinking. This bothers and frustrates him a lot. It will get to him so badly that he lashes out angrily at me because he has been so frustrated by my silence. I however am far less aware of when I am quiet and for how long I am quiet. It seems much longer to him obviously. Usually nothing is wrong at all .... but I guess he assumes something is wrong with me and I am not communicating this to him .... so he ends up upset and I have no idea because I have been fine or unaware all along ..... I have no idea what to do. Being told by a frustrated man that I am too quiet does not inspire me to start talking on and on about my innermost thoughts and feelings. I'm frustrated and don't know what to do. Am I really at fault? Is it just my nature to be quiet sometimes? How do we communicate better before his frustrations with me just continue to get worse and worse? :(


I agree with gina. You're not at fault, you're just someone who doesn't want to talk all the time. I can even understand where your boyfriend's frustration comes from; I'm an expressive person who likes to interact often and my boyfriend can go a long time without saying anything. But instead of getting mad at him or thinking something's wrong with him, I've learned that when he's quiet he's just content. It doesn't bother me at all, and that shouldn't have to ruin a relationship between two ACCEPTING people.
This is a bad match if he can't accept you.
Welcome to the board iv_aingeal,
Since he's upset by your silence, he's the one with the problem really.
I'm going to have to disagree with my fellow board mates here.