Immediate Help Needed

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2008
Immediate Help Needed
7
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 10:53am

I've been having this gut feeling that something is wrong in my relationship with my live-in boyfriend of almost 2 years.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-11-2006
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 12:32pm
You need to get this straightened out before you move because you may decide to move out alone if you find that he is cheating. You don't have any proof right now so you need to figure it out. Maybe it is time to look at his history and emails if he is a good liar.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 1:36pm

Welcome to the board confused_girl27,


Consider reading this to help you decide: 7 Legitimate Motives for Spying - http://messageboards.ivillage.com/n/mb/message.asp?webtag=iv-rlrelationsh&msg=28189.1


Good luck to you. I agree that you need to know before you move.





angels

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-17-2008
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 1:58pm

Thank you both for your responses. I had read the 7 reasons to spy before but, as far as his e-mail is concerned, I just don't think I can do it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2007
Thu, 07-17-2008 - 2:03pm

I've been with cheaters and it's been my experience that they will deny everything and confirm nothing unless presented with proof.


Good thing the place is in your name only.





angels

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-20-2008
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 3:18pm
From my experiance with my ex I would say something is up. He is hiding something. You can feel it in your gut.He is trying to throw you off by the comments he says back. I've lived this. Now just make sure you REALLY are ready to know for sure. Good luck
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2005
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 5:25pm
Always trust your gut instinct. You sense something isn't right. Even if he isn't doing anything, his behavior is odd and is causing you great distress. How long do you want to live like that?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-20-2007
Tue, 07-22-2008 - 6:29pm

confused_girl, adding to what everyone else has said, it matters not that you figure out exactly what he's up to, and with who. What matters is that you don't trust him and he acts shady. When you said he was going to Vegas by himself, a big red flag flew up in my head.

There is a lot he doesn't want you to see. I am certain that you are right and he is living quite the private life outside of your relationship, regardless of you living together.

It would be wise to move separately once your lease is up. This is a really bad situation.

He is using your LEGITIMATE lack of trust for him as a weapon against you. If he had nothing to hide, he wouldn't be attacking you, he would let you explain your position and acknowledge your feelings. He would NOT fight you with "trust".

I have a very very strong feeling that this is not the best relationship for you to be in. It started out on a lie, and even then he couldn't really act like a man about it. Consider what an untrustworthy coward you are dating, and why you need to be here.